Glory, White Horses, and Warm Weather: an Insider View of Florida Warm-up

Cold, mud, wet, snow, perma-frost, hypothermia, shivering, miserable......these are a few of the words I would use to describe the cursed Tournament known as Arctic Vogue. Needless to say this blogger and Ghetto Forcer was beyond excited to head south of the Mason-Dixon once again.

Off to Tampa! To Warm up: A Florida Affair a pleasantly titled tournament hosted on USF's campus. Another blogger gave us all a brilliant, magical, and insightful look of what went down from the outside view but I'm here to tell the tale as someone who lived and breathed that humid Tampa air.

A good many (15) of the A team traveled in whichever way they could find down to Florida for possibly the most exiciting tournament of the year this past weekend. So, here we go day 1 found Ghetto full of spirit, this was due to the scent of competition and beautiful weather. In historic Ghetto fashion we played a terrible first half against the University of Florida, however we rallied and made it a close game in the second half trading points but eventually falling by 5. Let's not speak of our game against Wisconsin or that of Florida State for the odds were staked against us in both games. In the last game of the day however Ghetto competed against Massachusetts and played one of their better games of the day but still ended up with a loss.

0-4 on day one was not the best start to the Florida Affair. Fear not, because a day may come when Ghetto Force goes 0-7 but it was not Saturday. Ghetto came out hot against Cornell and our zone D made their offense look pitifull and weak. The marks and mids did and excellent job of point blocking and the wings contained any up-field throws. More importantly a shout out to Captain Mark Fedorenko for running the air as deep-deep. I mean literally not one member of Cornell touched the disc when contested by Mark. He ran the air similar to Tom Cruise in Ghetto Force's favorite movie: TOP GUN

Cornell thought that their extensive knowledge of economics could help them defeat us, but Nate Jones quickly informed them that "we have seen boobs" and to an insult to injury we defeated Cornell and that began our win streak. Next we made a mockery of host team USF, easily vanquishing them. Chanting "we aren't even supposed to be here" "where the hell is Dayton" we were a force to be reckoned with.

Next Dayton faced the other and better Georgia, Georgia Tech. This was Ghetto Force's best game of the tournament. Shouts to Jordan "the Stallion" Manke for going blind with rage and intensity flying through the air racking up layout D after layout D. It looked somewhat similar to this......

Coming back late, and breaking GT for a win this was Ghetto's triumphant moment!

After going 3-0 day 2 people started to turn their heads and wonder what this mystery team from the Mid-West was all about. We had a huge test in front us though. Day 3 we faced the legendary Carelton. Little did they know we had someone of legend as well Patrick "The Peach" Kaufmann. Ghetto fought hard with great play coming on both defense and offense. But, alas Ghetto was defeated 14-13 in a hard cap time limit that had we been able to play it out, we believe we could have won. This was huge for Ghetto!!!

This weekend not only did we prove to Cornell that boobs>economics, nobody can beat the Stallion, Peaches is still awesome, Mark and Sammy Van have fully torqued hucks, but that Dayton Ultimate can win big games and has huge potential. We put ourselves on the ultimate radar boys!!!!!

WE WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!

A New Sheriff is in Town/#WINNING

After receiving threats against my life from one Ghetto Force team president I have "decided" that it is time for yet another riveting Ghetto Force Blog Post.

I'm a big fan of lists so I'm just going to throw down a few reasons this has taken several months to happen:

1. The view that deadlines are arbitrary
2. A vile mouse (moose) infestation in my house that has consumed my attention (Think the gopher and Bill Murry in Caddy Shack)
3. School Work (video games)

Ok, ok maybe I've been a bit lazy.

However, events of this past weekend demand immediate attention and have stirred up my creative spirits quite vigorously. The Ghetto Force A team traveled by land, air, and sea to the mystical land of "Tampa, Florida" where it is supposedly not cloudy and terrible everyday in the winter. There some of the greatest teams in all of the land had gathered for a 3 day tournament of strength and skill.

This tournament is known as Warm Up: A Florida Affair and it is one of the best tournaments in the nation. Top ranking teams were there to battle it out for glory and seeding in the yet young tournament. Due to the diligence and hard work of Ghetto Forcers past, we were granted a bid this year to this awesome tournament. Thus 15 of our best and brightest traveled south to cross swords with some other incredibly talented players and teams. This tournament gets a lot of attention in Ultimate media via Ultiworld and Skydmagazine so I will let them tell how epic this weekend really was for UD.

Here is the Ultiworld preview - Seeded second to last with little hope:

They were so wrong, check out this intelligent comment found on this very post:

I don't know who/what a Trapwizard is but he must be clairvoyant or something. The first day for Ghetto Force was rough - They lost all 4 games against great teams. The writers at Ultiworld probably felt pretty good about themselves at this point.

Then this happened:

I don't know who this "Trapwizard" fella is, but he doesn't seem like a liar. Just a really smart, unbiased guy who did his research. I mean, come on - that's just good journalism. Regardless of the jilted wizard:

THAT'S RIGHT - DAYTON GHETTO FORCE KICKED ASS ON SATURDAY

Lose 4 straight games? Pfft, more life rested to show people how it's done Saturday. Unfortunately, I was not there so I don't know the greater details of what went down - I will leave that to the other bloggers - but I imagine it involved supernatural feats of strength and high release forehands. Thus, Dayton was to play Carleton Sunday morning. Literally, the #4 team in the nation.

Sounds daunting right? I would agree with you. However, much like the 300 Spartans, the 15 Ghettomen laughed in the faces of adversity.

They played point for point, ultimately getting handled a loss due to hard cap 14-13. That's right, 15 of the 27 man roster - on the THIRD DAY OF THIS TOURNAMENT - gave Carleton a huge scare.

People are taking notice of Ghetto Force but don't take my word for it:


But wait, there's more!



If that doesn't make you proud to be a part of the Ghetto Force Family I don't know what will. None of this was possible without the hard work of the Ghetto Forcers of yore who built this team to what it is today.

As one last note, the B-Team, now known as Bernardo Morales Brawl Squad will travel to Kentucky to play in a tournament this coming weekend with a lot of talented A-Teams. They look to bring the pain and utilize some new skills. One wonders how vomiting on an opponent fits in the rule book. It just sounds like a really good/distracting fake to me.

Also, there was tournament 2 weekends ago called Arctic Vogue. However, it was cold, the fields were really bad, and the whole experience kind of sucked for all involved so I'm just going to kind of pass over it at this juncture. It's kinda like in the movie Hot Tub Time Machine where they all get upset when they talk about what happened in Cincinnati. One doesn't talk about Arctic Vogue.

One more note - Our former beloved leader has been playing valiantly out West for Stanford. I'm going to leave this here and allow you to interpret it as you will ;)

A Tale of Rambo, Trailer Parks, and Waffle Houses

What' this?! Another blog within a week of the last one?!

Yes, dreams do come true.

That is, unless your dream was to win the Granville or Murfreesboro tournaments and you don't play for Ghetto Force. That's right righteous readers, Ghetto Force has closed out a strong fall season by pretty much defeating all adversaries these last 2 months.

Starting first with the Granville tournament which was oddly named Down the Rabbit Hole. Like Alice was gonna come out and throw vicious scoober hucks. On a field outside of a "mansion" the size of a trailer home, Ghetto Force found itself midst a vicious bout for glory, honor, and discos (praise his name). Due to Hurricane Sandy washing out the Cleveland North Coast tournament the week prior, Ghetto Force found itself with a lot of pent up aggression. This fact was not lost on the competition. The closest game Ghetto Force ever played in was a 5 point differential against an alumni team. Not bad numbers considering this was the first tournament for Ghetto Force A having split into A/B teams only a few weeks prior. So Ghetto Force brought home the bacon, unfortunately the trophy was not bacon. In fact, they didn't have anything swaggy for the victors. Bananas were offered yet, no amount of bananas could make up for the lack of a trophy for the victorious Ghetto Force. No more shall be said of the matter.

Aforementioned "Mansion"

As the Granville tournament was short on spots, B - Team was unable to make it in. However, they played 2 matches against Miami and Wright State. The goal was the systematic dismantling of the competition, however, they fell a bit short of this goal. Yet, the matches acted as a great learning experience for the B - Team. Now that they know the secrets of the competition, B - Team will use greater tactics and subterfuge to defeat unworthy adversaries. Rambo once said, "I've always believed that the mind is the greatest weapon".

Never bring a gun to a disc fight

Whew, tired of reading these fantastical words? Too bad, that was only half this blog post. Now, we travel south of the Mason Dixon line, into the fiery reaches of Mordor. Following the allure of great power and an actual trophy reward. A tournament where Ghetto Force won the key to the city of Murfreesboro, we respectfully declined. In Murfreesboro the Waffle House per human capita was far too high. So they cast it into the depths of Mount Doom, or rather, 54 Chambers Street. 

A prize worth of Ghetto Force 

**Special Effects not included**

The competition was better at Murfreesboro but unfortunately the housing situation was not. Jordan Manke brought his camera this time so we actually have a decent idea about what happened. Things we know for sure:

• The rookies played well for both teams, giving a lot of hope for next season
• John Bayer, Cap'n Mark, and Ted handled well; giving their teams some fine throws
• Matt Welter made people run away in terror
• Josh Weitz thought we were in Kentucky

You may have heard of Kentucky blue grass. Well, Tennessee has a little something called dead grass. The ground was an odd yellow shade, mostly associated with nasty dead grass. However, this grass was nice and soft which was a pleasant surprise. Along with wonderful weather, the team got their bronze on between matches. A - Team won all but 1 match on their way to a tournament victory. B - Team unfortunately remains winless although they played much better this time. They will be toning their bodies under El Jefe Bronardo in the mornings to come until victory is achieved. The beatings will continue until victory is achieved, and then thereafter. 

Thus ends this blogathon, Ghetto Force is looking forward to the important Spring season. A day may come when the Ghetto Force blog fails and all hope is lost. But it is not this day!

Thanks for reading, as we go through exams and winter break stay tuned as we should continue to provide some Ghetto Force themed mirth.

PS: Please comment on our posts, we would love your feedback. Let your mind and fingers run free along your keyboard in wonderful commenting joy!

Back and Better than Ever!

First off, please accept our sincere apology about the time between blogs. I wish I could tell you that it was caused by an unwarranted invasion of 54 Chambers Street by Soviet Demon Mice. Yet, in actuality, we’ve just been lazy.

With that in mind: There will be an explosion of Thanksgiving Blogness over the next week or so! The wonderful Ghetto Force correspondents of Peaches, Sam Newell, and yours truly will give you some sweet and savory literary morsels. Let our word gravy help get that tasty turkey down your gullets.

One event that needs immediate attention is the Family Weekend/Alumni Game.

Many friends and family of the Ghetto Force made their way to UD to see what their sons have been doing with their college education. Also, for a lot of folks, this was their first opportunity to see what this “Ultimate Frisbee Disc Flatball” game is. One of my favorite short videos about Ultimate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwBUKDvohSs&feature=youtu.be

The Alumni Game this year was played as 2 games (to 9 points instead of the normal 13/15) with the current Ghetto Force roster split into 2 teams to take on the combined might of the Ancient Alumni.  The alumni came bearing their (many) years of experience and skill which showed in both games. The Alumni won both matches (although the first was hotly contested) and took possession of the newly forged Trophy to Rule Them All from the fires of multiple couches on Kiefaber. Maintaining this (weak) allegory, Brendan Corboy became covetous of said trophy and inspired his fellow Alums to trounce the younglings. 

"Quit staring at my trophy, get your own"

Among many nature defying acts: Eddie Mack showed that he still had a lot left in the tank as he caught several deep huck passes. Brian Jones bid and caught a disc which no one could have ever expected.

Brian Jones pointing out the end zone lines to Alec Dorn

As always, it was great to see the Godfathers of Dayton Ultimate on the field and showing the boys how it’s done. Unfortunately, the Alumni won, thus, I will not make anymore jokes about their age. The game was a great time as always and we hope that the alumni will be back sometime soon. Please let us know if you are coming into town for Alumni Weekend in the summer so that maybe we could organize a scrimmage or some pick up. You guys have a lot of Ultimate knowledge that we would love to learn from.

Having the Ghetto Force alumni on campus is always a great time. Many Alumni told me how they were amazed by the size of the roster and how different it was from only a few years ago. It is awesome to see that same spark that drives current Ghetto Force players in the Alumni.

The hard work of teams of yesteryear has given the team a great identity that is shared by alumni and current players. As always, we are grateful for the work the Alumni put into making Ghetto Force what it is today and we hope to continue that legacy.

I would also like to take a minute to thank the families that helped out setting up everything for the Family Weekend. Especially Mr. and Mrs. Tardio who made a grand feast fit for Prussian kings and queens, I still dream of that pulled pork (while I cry into my Salisbury Steak frozen microwavable dinner).  Also, those who helped donate to the team; your contribution helps significantly. Without you, Ghetto Force would not exist. Also, thank you for your sons – we like them too. 

Thanks for coming to visit and we hope to see you all soon!

Don't forget, there is no crying in frisbee-ball.

Ghetto Days

With the overwhelming success that was the last blog entry, we are back again to sate your thirst for poor verbiage, crude jokes, and overall whimsicality.

Believe it or not, Ghetto Force has already played in their second tournament of the fall season, Glory Days, which occurred the weekend of October 6-7. As this weekend coincided with Fall Break, many G-Forcers were unable to make it to this tournament. A plethora of excuses were used for this absenteeism, the main one being that "I have to go see my family" which is understood as: "I miss my mommy". Although we have offered Ross as a surrogate mother, some of the rookies shy away from his matronly affections.

Ross practicing his consoling skills

In regards to the tournament, we were once again split into 2 teams of X and Y. The team rosters were more or less the same as the rosters used at Boiler Breakaway. The main difference being a swap of captains so Mark and Tardio could survey the other members of the Ghetto Stock with great pride(or disdain). 

Going through some of the highlights for the X team, there was a very interesting spread of play witnessed. The X team played 1 of 2 ways: 

The team played as a dominating force that made the other team cry due to a smothering zone defense 

or 

They assumed room temperature like Old Yeller. 

The first day was disappointing with 2 hard losses. However, the team had an incredible come from behind victory against Illinois State where they won 14-13 on Universe Point. The X team ended up going 4-3 for the tournament in a solid showing. A list of some of the feats of valor for the x team is as follows:

• Ryan Schubert being the righteous hand of defense and D'ing everything thrown near his mark
• Mike "Rapsheet" Mills reminding people that gingers steal souls and catch lots of hucks
• Captain Mark Markleton throwing high release flicks over people
• Brandon Rush and Connor Ellis hurdling over fools
• Along with Bob and Donovan doing some solid work as cutters
• Ted Lannert playing great Zone defense
• Jamie Horne threw a completed huck to Matt Kolb/Kobb/CornCob causing hell to immediately freeze over

Seduction: The greater part of defense

In regards to the Y team led by El jefe muy bueno, Adam Tardio, there were also many noteworthy players. Fighting through a tough pool on day 1, the Y team was unable to record a W. However, they did take a strong Michigan team to 13-10. With these tough losses in mind, the resilient boys rallied hard to fight the next day to record 2 wins on Sunday. Jetpack Joe showed up to play in a neon green construction coat which was so obnoxiously bright, the opposing team could not find him. The garrulous Dominic Leyden threw over the shoulder fakes which dazzled and caused mass hysteria/confusion. Speaking of confusion, supersonic wielding Zubat Grewal and flow wielding "Fabio" Huels handled admirably. Josh "Lippy" Maloney finally lived up to his ever present smack talking and played great defense. Super Tim was exceptionally super as always, macking a disc over his defender just to sky said defender in the endzone for a point. Dylan Corwin became the "Sticky Bandit", robbing many fools of their ill protected throws. Most amazing of all, Dan Sullivan managed to walk onto the field "voluntarily" after Tardio dangled a cold Dr Pepper in front of him. 

Dylan's nickname is totes not a form of infringement

Thanks to the Kolb, Lannert, and Schlater for showing up to cheer us on, we really appreciate the fans. Efforts will be taken to keep this from going to our heads however once we hit 10 fans we're getting an agent.

With parent's weekend coming up soon, there will be an influx of family, friends, and alumni making their way to the lovely Dayton, Ohio. Please make sure to keep your parents informed of the events this weekend and help Mark and Tardio get everything set up. Otherwise, Tardio will hunt you down, you will not be able to outrun him.

Until next time, please make sure to help control the pet population, give all strays you find to Zach Kaylor.

"1-2-3 We're Back"

Welcome,

Introducing, your new electronic troubadours for the 2012-2013 Ghetto Force season Sam Newell, Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Jamie Horne. The times have been a-changing here at Ghetto Force Central with the addition of new leadership in Mark "Markleton" Fedorenko and Adam Tardio, who evidently does have a first name. Also, after the veritable week long marathon tryouts, a new batch of about 40 fresh minted rookies have made their way into the Ghetto Force hurt locker.

                                            Pictured: Veteran keeping in shape over the summer


Right off the bat, Ghetto Force went to it's first tournament with 2 fully equipped teams ready to nick name rookies with every bad nickname ever until one would stick.

This is the part where your loyal blog-stars would talk about the tournament itself. Yet, we would like to take this time to point out that there were almost no bloggers to write this epitaph as we had to drive through -what could be described only as a category 5 hurricane - to make it to West Lafayette, Indiana. Thus, Boiler Breakdown was played at Purdue University in Indiana. Upon arrival, after what was near certain death, several rookies began to question their decisions in joining the team.

As stated before, the teams were broken up evenly into Ghetto Force X and Ghetto Force Y; both with a mix of veterans and rookies. The first day of the tournament was a tumultuous one after a calm morning, conditions shifted for the worse with strong winds.

                                                                It looked a lot like this

Ghetto Force X played a strong first day led by veteran handlers Cap'n Mark and Jordan Manke. Defeating strong teams in Purdue, Indiana, Western Michigan (in an exciting Universe Game), and Kalamazoo, which I'm pretty sure is a place made up by Dr. Seuss. Horton must've been good at hearing hucks. X only loss was against Loyola-Chicago.

We had a few spectators and no shows for this tournament as well. Eric "old man" Hegedus was a no show, in his 4th maybe even his 5th year he would have attended but in his old age the stress was to great. Levi "always injured" Bruce attended the tournament but was not able to play do to a previously dislocated shoulder. However, Levi's ridiculous outfits and clowning antics kept spirits high and helped Dayton X achieve 4 wins on the first day of competition. Bryan "Goldie Locks" Bakker was also attendance but could not play due to "back complications". Bakker and his long flowing hair, exclusive style, and supreme statistics taking ability helped Dayton Y with their first tournament experience.

Ghetto Force Y played all day on a knife's edge, winning 3 out of 5 games and only winning on the last point of each game. The highlight of the day being Jetpack Joe Schlater's family bought the team cheeseburgers.

Below is a short gif showing how Donovan "Dolphin Dive" Phillips manhandled the other team's handlers. Following his example, both teams saw many rookies exhibiting feats of glory. Bidding through fools and skying people to the stone age. There is a lot of hope in the future of this team.

                                                              NOT TODAY, JUNIOR

Day 2 for Ghetto Force was pretty poor across the board, with both teams being plagued by poor play. Ghetto Force X was described by Captain Mark as "Like watching smurfs trying to play defense on an angry herd of giraffes". That might not be a direct quote.

Both teams went 0-4  for the day however, important team bonding occurred and new names were drawn up. Dan Striebich became the Squeaky Tank after Mason "The Dixon Line" Boggs collided with each other. Luke Kalponek became Squid for reasons yet to be determined. Jack Hanson became Skeeter because he basically is Skeeter from Disney's Doug, if you don't know what this is a reference to brush up on your childhood.

So in conclusion, we look forward to the next tournament, Glory Days, in Rockford, Illinois.

Prepare yourself boys, we got a long, fun season ahead of us.

(Ninja Edit: some of our initial grammar/punctuation was atrocious, stay in school kids)

"Ghetto Shootout" Proves to have "Swag"

We hope this message finds you well. It has been a little while since our last post, and just like Michael Mills yearns for violent crime, you need our words. We apologize for depriving you of that.

From the sweat of their brow, the new Ghetto Forcers have shown their devotion, the old Ghetto Forcers have shown their loyalty, and the injured kids just hang out. 

A mere two weeks ago, the Ghetto Force hosted it's first tournament for many of the players' first time at UD. The "Ghetto Shootout" invited A and B teams from Cincinatti and Wright Street to play in a small, local tournament.

The A team started with a game against UC. As Phil motivated the team (strangely not by threats of sprints and burpees), a truly talented line was put on to the field to crush the enemy like the insects they were. After a slow (like really slow) start, the team began to rally back into the game. UC closed the half at 7-4. After a hard fought battle for the rest of the game, the team fell to UC 13-9. Jordan (not-to-be-confused-with-Primeape) Manke, Zach (BustBack Team Member) Kaylor, and Mark (new-attendance-page-nanny) Federenko all had huge D's. 

In their second game against Wright State, Alex (the Dazzle) Frasz dropped a pull.

After another hard fought battle, the Ghetto Force fell 13-12 to Wright State.

In an all out annhilation, the B-team was defeated by Wright State's A team. There will be no further discussion on the matter. 

In their second and third games, the Ghetto Farce (Dayton B-Squad) fell to Cincinatti's B-team 13-8 and beat Wright State's B-team 13-5. Ted (the teddy bear) Lannert skyed someone in this game (...??). Fun was had by all involved. 

Among both teams, drops and poor throws seem to be the biggest problems.

Upon completion of the morning practice portion of the year, the Force has moved on to outdoor practices led by Captain-elect Mark (already-has-a-nickname-earlier-in-the-post) Federenko.  

The Ghetto Force looks forward to traveling to Miami, OH, for the annual "Boogie Nights" tournament. Best of the luck to the boys and farewell our faithful followers. PEACE.

G-H-E-DOUBLE P-O

Twas the night before workouts, and all through the ghetto, not a player was having fun, not even Pat Bello. The running shoes were nestled and ready to be worn, dreams of sprints and burpee squares left the players forlorn. With Peaches and Ross, shining bigger and brighter, have begun their regime as the new blog writers.

Hello all,

First of all, let us introduce ourselves. Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Ross "the Hoss" Gueltzow are your new blog writers for the spring season. We would like you to know just how privileged your eyes are about to become. We have traveled far and wide studying blogging techniques in the Orient and in Turkey. We have decided to bring our talents back to South Dayton for your reading pleasure. We are honored to have been chosen for this prestigious position and will treat it with the utmost respect and diligence. We know the gravity of our words. 

Without any further jargon, we will commence to the discussions of the UD MEN'S CLUB ULTIMATE FRISBEE TEAM.

 

Our Fall season, as you steadfast readers may know, ended with a cliff-hanger. Our last tournament of the season was Glory Days in Lowell, IN. Split into X and Y squads, the teams were split were somewhat evenly. Captain Phil "Kim Jong-Phil" Brodrick led Dayton Y, a group primarily composed of rookies, through a tough day of "learning experiences." Dayton X, led by seniors Zach "Co-President of Student Beard Board" Kaylor and Alex "Student Beard Board Traitor" Frasz. Dayton X played well, with victories of Indiana X, Northwestern Y, Southern Illinois A and Illinois-Chicago.

After Glory Days, the members of the Ghetto Force invited their beautiful families to Dayton for UD's annual Parent Weekend. With the completion of Stuart Field's improvements, the team was able to show their parents how athletic and cool they were on some killer astro-turf. The Ghetto Force took part in an inter-team scrimmage as well as taking on the Get-Old Force, the Ghetto Force's alumni team. The Get-Old Force fell. However, fun was had by all involved and culminated in a pasta feast fit for royalty. 

                                           Evan Corcoran as a sophomore at UD.

The Ghetto Force delegates were then able to take a brief respite and get loads of presents which is awesome.

Upon our return, we were greeted by two fine new leaders of the Ghetto Force. As President-elect Adam "nonickname" Tardio and Captain-elect Mark "Mark" Fedorenko prepare to phase into responsibilities given to them by their makers (Alan "Butters" Smith and Phil "O Captain, My Captain" Brodrick), their subordinates patiently wait instructions. 

As we begin the spring semester workouts, look forward to more updates concerning the team. We will sweat, we will cry, and we will win. 

Faith, Love, and Ghetto Force Ultimate,

Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Ross "the Hoss" Gueltzow

P.S. - Ross messed up the G-H-E-DOUBLE T-O cheer many moons ago. What he said is in the title.

Fall Season Update

To start, I want to apologize for getting this post out so late into the season. We have been too busy kicking ass, taking names, and training the new recruits to take note of it.

With only one tournament left in the fall season, a lot of time has passed since we found out over 30 guys were interested in joining true men in achieving ultimate greatness. The new class of players proved consistent with the sport's nature, attracting everyone from the rookie handlers, talented ultimate players, never played sports in his life engineers, to the free spirited hipsters. Under the new starting training program, Phil led the new guys in teaching everyone how to bid, play defense, throw a flick, and the horizontal stack offense.

Sectionals

With most of the Ghetto veterans playing for the club team Enigma, it was the rookies time to shine. Captained by sophomore extraordinaire Mark Fedorenko and junior studmuffin Ross Gueltzow, the team finished a respectable 3-4. Highlighted by amazing plays mixed with incredible ineptitude, the rookies bravely took on the onslaught of Coach Evan Corcoran's wrath and came out better for it. Needless to say, greatness was in store for this fall.

Wright Wing Conspiracy

With the Enigma veterans gone yet again for regionals, the new generation of Ghetto Force knew they had to step up their game. To maximize playing time and fully appreciate the ultimate tournament experience, the small numbered team split into two. Wright Wing truly turnt out to be a learning experience for all with a poor showing for the fresh squad. Getting the losses out of the way for the rest of the season, Ghetto Force began to prepare themselves for retaliation.

Kentucky Classic

A tourntament over fall break made it tough to captivate new players attention, with most of the team running home to tell their parents how awesome they are at catching round flying objects. The low numbered X/Y split teams drove south to prove they deserved to be called ghetto. Lots of fun was had as the old guys finally mixed with the fresh blood and ultimate greatness was spread all around. The X team, led by veteran handles Eric "Peg" Hegedus and Zach Kaylor came to play. With 5 subs on Saturday, the X team came out and beat a full Miami squad before trouncing an overwhelmed Ball State split squad with a combination of hucks and D's from Peaches and Dan Sullivan, along with newcomer Chris Kovaleski. Despite Peaches' awesome sky of Cincinnati's Garret, the X team was unable to come up with a victory against a strong UC squad. After a easy victory over EKU, the X team advanced to the championship bracket for Sunday. Faced with a full Ball State split squad, the X team (now with 4 subs) came determined to prove themselves Sunday. After going down 6-10, the men of Ghetto Force fought bravely back, only to lose on universe point in a game for the ages. The X squad finished out the tournament with a second victory over Miami and a close loss to Kentucky. The Y team struggled Saturday to throw tough defense against any opponents. Led by none other than the real captains Phillip Brodrick and Alan Smith, Y team seemed to only care about looking good for the womens rugby game being played close by. Close offensive games left the Y team with one win and a few losses. Being pushed down to the lowest bracket after suffering point differential to another team, an appearance by classics 'The Admiral' and Barb really brought up team morale to help the Y team squander their opponents. No games were close and no ghetto men were left unhappy.

As we lay in our Red Roof hotel beds, we can only imagine what's in store for the weekend ahead for the Glory Days tourntament.

Ghetto Force Ultimate: A New Chapter

Greetings readers,

September is here once again, school is back in session, the ghetto is back to full levels of rageness and most importantly Ghetto Force is gearing up for another season. This post will be my last as blogmaster, its been an honor and nothing less than a dream to keep the Ghetto Force community updated throughout the season. I will be handing off the torch to the very capable and mostly literate Frasz and Kaylor. They are trusted journeymen, trained well in the art of blogging. I know they will continue the long tradition of outstanding reporting.

A short update:

So far Ghetto has had two days of try-outs. Kim Jong Phil has weeded out the slackers and wanna be's, slowly leaving only Ghetto Force warriors. The incoming freshman look strong, many already know throws and the difference between a Disc and a Frisbee. We had a great turnt out, attracting more players on Day 2 than Day 1.

It's going to be an exciting season, so keep checking back for more updates and the posting of the tournament schedule.

Day Two KY CLASSIC

Written by: Jonsey

Day 2

Indiana: 15 – 9

Having finished 2^nd in their pool on Day 1, Ghetto arrived at the fields on Day 2 to face the #1 overall seed of the tournament in the first round of the championship bracket. For the second day in a row, Ghetto came out in the first half of game one flatter than Butters’ chest. The wind was tremendous, and sloppy play by Ghetto combined with a formidable zone by Indiana caused Ghetto to be rolled in a half for the first time all season. Led by a 5^th year handler with a Mohawk that simply defied physics with its rigidity, Indiana schooled Ghetto up and down the field and eventually took half 8 – 2. During halftime, the Force decided to get their respective heads out of their respective John Brown hind parts and start actually playing Ultimate. The second half turned into a much more competitive game, involving several up-wind breaks by Ghetto thanks to Ghetto’s ever impressive zone-D. The game ended at a disappointing but respectable score of 15 – 9.

Miami: 15 – 6

The loss to Indiana meant Ghetto would be demoted to the 5^th place bracket. Ghetto’s first opponent in this bracket was to be the archrival Boogie Men of Miami (the Ohio Miami, not the cool one Will Smith raps about). A full Ghetto squad had defeated roughly half of Miami’s squad at Boogie Nights earlier in the season. Now, the situation was to essentially be reversed; A Ghetto squad missing many key components was to face a nearly full Miami team. Ghetto was determined to put in a performance that would grant them a final statement win in what so far had been a disappointing weekend. The Force came out strong early, once again employing zone-D to great effect. Miami’s handlers were simply overwhelmed by Ghetto’s stifling D, and it quickly became clear that Ghetto would once again roll their rivals from Oxford (Again, the Ohio Oxford, not the impressive British one). Miami waved the white flag early and Ghetto took the game 15 – 6.

Huxedo: 15 – 7

Ghetto’s final task in order to wrap up 5^th place (and an awesome trophy with lots of goodies inside) was to defeat the alumni team Huxedo. As a token alumni team, Huxedo had a few studs who could huck like champs, a couple guys who could run, and a bunch of fat dudes. Nonetheless, Huxedo looked to be a formidable opponent. Ghetto was now down yet another player; senior Eric Hegedus had been lost mid-day to vicious flesh-eating bacteria. This meant an even thinner Ghetto lineup had to muster the energy to end the weekend with a win. The Force came out very strong and quickly took a 5 – 0 lead. However, fatigue and overly pacifist play by Ghetto allowed Huxedo to make a run and get back into the game, bringing the score within to 2 points. After a sloppy point, Ghetto took half on a huck from Zack “The Dog Wisperer” Kaylor to Mark “Squirrel” Fedorenko that was as delicious to watch at mama Gueltzow’s cheesy potatoes are to eat. The second half remained decently close, but increased intensity by Ghetto meant the game would never really be in question. A highlight of the second half came when senior Brian Jones made what was by far his greatest defensive play of the season; With yet another Phil Brodrick pull pinning Huxedo on the corner of their own goal line, Ghetto threw their zone D with Adam “cookie monster” Tardio marking, and Jones playing the break-side wing. After several fakes the handler with the disc called a foul on Tardio, stopping play. In the short break, Jones shouted to Tardio that he personally guaranteed the handler with the disc would not even dare to attempt to throw an I.O. flick dump given the wind, and thus Tardio should shift farther to his right when marking. The handler heard this guarantee, shot Jones a nasty glare, and proceeded to check in the disc. Immediately, the handler attempted to throw an I.O. flick dump. As expected, the throw horribly turfed, giving Ghetto the disc on their opponent’s goal line. Mid-mid Zack Kaylor turned to Jones, and the two shared a hearty laugh over Jones’ ability to so effectively manipulate the handlers’ feeble mind. Ghetto punched in the score, and the game ended soon after on a great grab by Josh “Pretty Boy Swag” Weitz on a questionable huck from Captain Phil Brodrick. Ghetto took the fifth place showdown by a score of 15 – 7.

After a hard fought weekend filled with many ups and downs, Ghetto headed to the Gueltzow household to stuff their respective faces with scrumptious southern cooking and watch a kid younger than many of them totally screw up the back nine of the final round of the masters. Ghetto is primed for the impending Conference Championships next weekend, and is excited to continue their streak of domination.