The UPA is now "USA Ultimate"!!

The UPA is now "USA Ultimate"!!
The UPA has changed its name from the UPA(the Ultimate Players Association) to USA Ultimate

Thursday, October 30, 2014

We're Back! {and have been for a while}

Ghetto Force enthusiasts! I have great news! I decided to stop being a lazy dummy and bless everyone with a new post.  Now, I know its been a while since this blog has been updated last, so there will be a lot to go over.  So I guess there's no better place to start than the beginning.

4,600,000,000 Years ago...

This is where the story of Ghetto Force Ultimate begins.  During this time known as the Hadean Eon (thanks wikipedia) a young planet forms called Earth.  It's basically a large rock in outer space.  It forms an orbit around a sphere of hot plasma interwoven with magnetic fields known as the sun.  Under these circumstances, notably the distance between the Earth and the Sun as well as the Earth's atmosphere, the conditions for life were possible.  Complex organic molecules were just introduced to Earth at this time.  The ingredients for intelligent life were all there.  I can guess you know what happens next.

(a bunch of pointless stuff happens)

Late August 2014...

We'll pick the story back up here.  I'll briefly paraphrase the most important events that occurred  between 4.6 Billion years ago and August 2014:

  • Earliest known humans begin to walk upright
  • Discovery of fire
  • Agricultural practices commence
  • Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire
  • Shakespeare
  • European settlers discover America
  • United States is formed
  • Orville and Wilber Wright take first flight
  • Frisbee is invented
  • Gangnam Style becomes popular
  • Alan Huels gets on TV (link)
Now that we're all caught up, I'll cover more recent events.  Tryouts took place on a late August evening on beautiful Stuart field.  Veterans were able to catch up with one another while the frosh were able to enjoy the excitement of not knowing anybody around them or what the heck was going on.  We had two tryout sessions for everyone to show what they had been working on all summer.
Most of the freshman at tryouts

The tryouts went well (from what I can remember).  There were a lot of guys there, as there are most years, but only the true men stayed around to join the team.

After tryouts our regular practice sessions began.  For about 3 weeks we introduced everyone to the basic fundamentals and strategies of the game.  Most of the rookies seemed to pick the game up quite quickly.  We looked prepared for our first tournament.

Before our first actual tournament we had a scrimmage planned for Parents Weekend.  Normally this is when we would play against the Get Old Force, but unfortunately this was the same weekend as Club Sectionals which many of our Alum were competing in.  So instead we split X/Y and played a split Cedarville squad.  Both teams competed well.  I believe Jack's squad went 1-1 and Jordan's team went 2-0.  It was a valuable opportunity for new players to get in-game experience and show out for their parents.

Some action from the game against Cedarville
The following weekend we packed up and headed out to our first real tournament.  Wright State's "Wright Wing Conspiracy" we attended the tournament X/Y with Dayton X lead by Jordan "Drunk Team Pony Team Thor Team Swag Team" Manke and Dayton Y lean by Alan "Seagrams Lover" Huels.  Both teams came out firing with early wins.  Dayton X went 3-0 on Day 1 (mostly because they were playing some pretty easy teams and were stacked with vets.) and Dayton Y went 1-2 but would end up taking the #2 seed in the pool due to point diff.  On this day the "Dayton X to Nationals" campaign was born.  Check out our twitter and you'll know what I mean.

Preview of 2015 College Nationals Championship Bracket
Day 2 of Wright Wing was good for both teams.  I know Dayton Y opened up with a very dominant win over Bowling Green Y with the final score being 13-5.  During this game Doug "Dom" Leyden had a bid for a score.  I don't anticipate this ever happening again because Doug's pretty smarmy.  Dayton X won too I guess but I don't know who they played because I wasn't on that team and its not on Dayton Y then played a pretty skilled Kentucky X.  The game was back and forth and but Ghetto Y prevailed 13-10. Dayton X won too i guess. Who cares.  By this time both Dayton squads were in the semi-finals.  Dayton X took on a full squad MiamiU.  From what I saw when I wasn't playing, Miami was pretty douchey, but that's to be expected.  Dayton Y was taking on Wright State's Alumni.  I'd rather not speak about that game so I'll just talk about Dayton X more.  I believe X took half at 7-6 but Miami had the momentum going in to half.  Coming out of half X fought hard, but our lack of experience showed on some plays and Miami was able to get to 13 points first.  Overall it was a great first tournament experience for our rookies and a great way to shake off the rust.

Skip forward about a month to the weekend of 10/18-10/19.

This past weekend we attended 4th annual Illinois Invite in RAAAAAANTOUL, Illinois hosted by the University of Illinois. Illinois.  Its about a 4 hour drive so we left midday on Friday and stayed in an abandoned hotel in walking distance to the fields.

Hotel we stayed at in Rantoul

This tournament we were again split X/Y with the Dayton X team lead Jack "fruitcake" Hanson and Conner "C" Haenszel (me).  Dayton Y was lead by Alan "Highlight Reel" Huels.  Day 1 didn't really go well for either team.  Dayton X had the only win on the day for either team (suck it Alan). There was a strong wind for most of the day and our zone D was unpracticed and unpolished. The field consisted of quite a few Alumni teams and some full squads. There was a $1000 cash prize for 1st place so that could explain that.  It could have been worse, but the sun actually never showed up for the first day like the Weather Channel promised.  Here are some pics from Day 1

Steve Moore doing the most
Schubert hucks are the best hucks
Rookie Evan Wethington handles goodish
Doug and Matt pose game strong
Jack jumps as high as he can in this picture
This is why he's a fruitcake
Probably one of Jack's hucks :(
The biggest takeaway from Day 1 of Illinois was the new team catchphrase "SUCK IT, NERDS!" created by Steve "Rage Monster" Moore when he scored against one of the alumni teams.  It was great to witness.  Luckily for Dayton X, Mr. and Mrs. Hanson brought us lunch during our Bye round (not the round against an alumni team named "BYE". Assholes had us thinking we had 2 byes)

Just Alan killin' that hat
Me being mad decent
Rookie Ethan Steinmetz with the nice zone D
Der Hund
Tommy Tappel holding it down
Tommy doesn't look like a lesbian in this one
Staying warm during a bye
Rookie Caleb "Air Caleb" Negron 
Day 2 was a little better.  The sun actually showed up on this day and the wind was significantly less.  Through some sort of scheduling wizardry, Dayton X was granted a first round bye in the consolation bracket for getting 4th place in pool C.  Dayton Y on the other hand had to wake up and be at the fields at 8am (suck it again Alan).  Dayton Y took on Purdue X in its first game.  They came out strong.  By the time Dayton X got to the fields,  Dayton Y was leading 9-6.  It looked like a sure win, but then the improbable happened.  Purdue started to come back. A lot of bad plays happened.  Purdue won on universe.  It was definitely a disappointment because had Dayton Y won, their opponent would have been none other than Dayton X.  So Dayton X took on the exact same Purdue squad and yielded almost the exact same result.  Lots of drops, lots of rage, and not a lot of defense.  After, both teams took on cupcake opponents.  Both teams ended the tournament with a win.  It was the icing on the shitcake.  All jokes aside, it was a growing experience for everyone involved.  Rookies got to face some good competition, see what it was like to play under adverse conditions, and have some fun bonding with team mates in the process.

Schubert's always happy when he's on the field :)



The Doug Pull #rare

Kevin Lavoy bids inbounds

The Evan Pull #lessrare

We liked guarding this guy I guess

The "Angry Sky" by Alan

*wrote this part last Friday*
That sort of brings us to now.  As I write this, Ghetto Force alum from far and wide are probably making their way to Mecca a.k.a the University of Dayton.  The annual Alumni Scrimmage takes place tomorrow at 4:30p.  Its gonna be a blood bath.  Alan really wants to win.

Thanks for all the Get Old Force members who were able to make the game and the Hat Tournament hosted by UD Kraken.  Though the results weren't in our favor this year, everyone enjoyed the opportunity of playing with past Ghetto Force all-stars (even though one of them hasn't graduated yet)

All pictures in this blog are courtesy of Ryan Schubert who was awesome enough to take pictures of this Illinois Invite.  If you want to see the full albums then check out his Facebook page.  Here's the link to his photos.

Until next time.

Sunday, May 4, 2014


After sectionals we had 2 weeks to recover from a physically tasking tournament to prepare for what would prove to be the climax of our season.  Practices to prepare for regionals were very intense and very focused.  Captains Alan Huels and Jordan Manke made it a goal to break into the top 8 at regionals, a feat that no current Ghetto Force member had achieved.  We had a goal.  On Saturday, April 26th, at 5:30am we set out on an unforgettable journey to achieve that goal.

The Ohio Valley D-1 Regional Tournament took place in Toledo, Ohio (only God knows why) so we made the 2.5 hour drive up I-75 on Saturday morning.  We opened the tournament with a game against Case Western Reserve.  There's not much to say about this game except that we were probably really tired from the drive and some of the team stopped at McDonald's for breakfast so that probably made us a little sluggish.  The Gobies had great flow with their horizontal stack and their zone gave us trouble when the wind kicked up later in the game.  However, we did not do much to help ourselves in this game.  Seemingly everyone who played in that game had at least 1 dropped disc.  We didn't play our best and the skill of our opponents did not help us.  It was a somewhat rude awakening that we needed to focus and get ready to play.  The Case game ended up 5-15. 

Mark with the fabled around break
The Flying Peach
Game 2 was against Ohio University.  The game against them in sectionals was still fresh in our minds.  It was our mission to avenge that loss and prove to ourselves that we weren't as bad as how we played in Game 1.  The game started with both teams trading points.  About halfway through the first half, Ghetto got its first break of the game.  We never looked back from there.  Our zone defense was the best I've ever seen in my (short) time on Ghetto Force.  Our cup was able to shut down the 5-man handler set that OU tried to throw at us.  On offense, Mark Federenko put up big hucks which usually ended up in the hands of either Alan Huels, Peaches, or Steven Moore.  Each seemed immune to the effects of gravity that tether most of us mortals down to Earth, soaring high above the altitude limitations of a normal man.  Coach Jordan played with the majesty and savagery of a stallion with a thirst for bobcat blood.  He was lights out, putting his shoulder(s) on the line with every bid.  Scotty Klein also got in the game and was able to come down with a big catch off the back of the stack and throw the forthcoming assist.  Also I believe it was mentioned that Kevin Lavoy murdered a goose. not that day, but some point in his life.  Everyone played well, a much needed turnaround from Game 1.  Ghetto got the Win 13-9.  Fun Fact: this was Ghetto's first ever victory against Ohio University.  Great stuff.

Coach Jordan gets up
Next on the chopping block was Lehigh B.  Though I'm not sure how exactly a D-III B team made their way into a D-I regional tournament, but I do know that we played well against them.  Though they were seeded 16th, I don't believe they were the worst team there that day.  Lehigh B actually played pretty well, but were no match against the Force of Ghetto they found themselves up against.  This game went by in a flash.  Everyone got substantial playing time this game and had a lot of fun.  We, again, played great zone defense and were able to punch in score after score.  We won 15-8.  This put Ghetto in 3rd place for pool D (it came down to point diff when OU beat Case) placing us in a pre-quarter matchup against 2nd place from pool A.
BroSteve69 had a diving catch
Scott went deep
Game 4 proved to be my favorite game of the day.  It was a pre-quarter crossover game against Edinboro University.  From what I was told, the seniors on the team faced this exact same scenario when they were freshman. Playing Edinboro in a pre-quarter game at regionals, all the same, and I guess they lost.  We set out to avenge that loss from 3 years ago.  From the way these guys played, you'd think they thought about that loss everyday for the last 3 years.  We came out hot, scoring the first 3 or 4 points.  Mark Federenko was, as the kids say, "turnt up".  During a timeout he was quoted saying things like "step on their throats and don't let go.  no bubbles." or "Let's kill 'em" We played very inspired ultimate for the remainder of the game.  Peaches and Alan out ran and out jumped the opposition, Rapsheet was open on almost every in-cut he made, Mark had a couple huge D's, and Jesse helped move the disc down the field from the break side.  Now, we didn't actually kill anyone, but boy did we try. In the team picture attached to the bottom of this post you may notice a firetruck in the background.  I'm not gonna point fingers at anyone, but let's just say the firetruck was not there by accident.  In the end, Ghetto dominated.  We took half 8-4 and later won the game 13-7 (the game was called shortly after the incident occurred) This victory placed Ghetto in the championship bracket for Day 2.

Yes, this is real

What it was like watching Peaches run all over defenses this weekend
The first game of Day 2 was against 2nd seeded Penn State.  They were a very serious team with a coach and everything.  They were eyeing a spot at nationals, but in doing so, seemed to overlook their first round matchup against a small catholic school from southwestern Ohio.  Huge mistake. Ghetto began the game by pulling upwind and throwing the same zone that had worked for us all weekend.  We could tell immediately that Penn State was uncomfortable moving the disc against our zone.  They turned the disc on their half of the field allowing Ghetto to punch in a quick score.  Ghetto then completed a the break downwind, putting the score at 2-0.  We were able to force turns rather easily at the beginning of the game, allowing us to go up 5-2.  At this point, Penn State took a time out.  We could tell PSU had experienced a spectrum of emotion ranging from surprise to trepidation to questioning the purpose of their own existence.  Our timeout huddle was a little bit different.  After some inspiring words by Alan, we broke out into what could only be described as the Dude Jam of the century.  I feel sorry for everyone who wasn't there to witness it in person.  It was awesome.  After the timeout, Penn State seemed to adjust their strategy a bit.  Their game plan now included questionable travel calls and more hammers over our cup. No matter.  Ghetto was able to take half 8-7.  We came out a little flat after half.  I believe we traded scores and made it 10-10 at some point.  After this, we were broken upwind twice and unable to find the end zone again.  The final score ended up 10-14.  Although we were disappointed by the loss, we were proud of how we played against a high caliber team.
The majestic flow
He caught it.
After the Penn State game we weren't sure whether or not our day was over.  Captains spoke to the TD to find out if there was a 5th place bracket. We were informed that there was, and that we would be playing University of Pennsylvania.  The captains decided to only play this game to 9 with no half time.  This game was much less intense than the previous one, but still included some good competition.  Many people got some well deserved playing time since we essentially ran our "kill line" for the entirety of the Penn State game.  Some highlights from the UPenn game include a successful Snake-in-the-Grass play, Schubert having 3 D's on 1 point, and lots of rookie scores.  It was a fun game, but the score ended up 5-9 in favor of UPenn.  
Sneaky snake
One of Schubert's many D's
Ghetto ended up taking 7th place at regionals.  We achieved our goal of breaking into the top 8 and holding our own against some of the better teams in our region.  As a team we peaked at regionals, which is pretty fortunate.  Overall, Ghetto had one of its best seasons in a while.  Even though we only attended 1 tournament other than sectionals and regionals, it was still a blast.  

Also, our very own Mark Fedorenko and Alan Huels are being considered for the All-Region team.  Here are a few snippets about them taken from Ultiworld.

Now, on behalf of all Ghetto Force members, I would like to thank and congratulate each member of the exiting senior class of 2014.  Jesse, Mark, Ted, Jamie, Peaches, Steve, and Ambrose.  Thank you all for the time and effort you have put in to Ghetto Force over the years.  You all were extremely vital to the team's success this year and years past.  Your leadership and experience came through at practice and in games.  Your countless contributions to the team are held in the highest regard and our club will be forever grateful for them.  Thank you for making us better ultimate players and being great friends.  You guys are what make Ghetto Force great.  Thank you and congrats on graduating.
From Left: Jesse Grewal, Mark Fedorenko, Stephen Jira, Patrick Kaufmann, Jamie Horne, Ambrose Dobrozsi, Ted Lannert
One serious photo...

...and a funny one.
All photos are courtesy of Ryan Schubert and his awesome picture taking abilities.  If you'd like to see the complete albums, Ryan has them on his Facebook.  Thank you for taking the time to read this blog.  I apologize if it was a little long, but I figured I'd rather be more thorough than not...thorough?  Anyways, this is our team.  I'm so glad to be part of it.  You guys are great teammates and great friends.  Good luck to everyone during their club seasons this summer.  See you next fall.

Conner H.


Another great season of Ghetto Force ultimate has come to an end.  Hucks were thrown, layout D's were had, and many a sky hath occurred.  It was a very odd season, but a fun one nonetheless.  And as with most spring seasons, it ended with the Sectional and Regional tournaments.

Before we get to that, I would like to take a moment to briefly introduce myself.  As mentioned in the previous blog post, our beloved Trap Wizard, Jamie Horne, will be graduating in the next few days which means he will no longer be able to update the blog.  So, for reasons unknown, he decided to tap me to be the next blogger.  For those who don't know me, my name is Conner Haenszel, I am a handler on Ghetto, and I'll be a junior this fall.  Although I'm not sure why I was chosen, I know better than to question the wisdom of the almighty Trap Wizard.  I am humbled and honored to follow in his path.  Its my first time maintaining a blog of any kind, so please bear with me.  It should only get better from here. 

Now, onto the tournaments.  First was the Ohio D-1 Conference Championship, a.k.a sectionals, which took place in Columbus, Ohio.  Day 1 went very well for Ghetto Force.  We opened the day with a highly competitive match against Ohio University.  With OU coming off a nationals appearance last year, we knew we were in for a good game.  We came out guns blazing and opened the game with a streak of quick scores going up 4-1 on OU.  Then, as quickly as we went up, we came back down. I'm not entirely sure of what happened because thing were moving at a blinding pace, but next thing you know OU takes half 5-6 (games were to 11 on Day 1) and eventually took the win 8-11.  It was a hard fought bout, but we fell short.  Blind with rage from the close loss, we proceeded to bagel Youngstown State 11-0.  Poor guys never stood a chance.  

Our game plan after the OU game

This fury would carry over into games 3 and 4 against Miami U and Kent State.  Much like YSU, Miami and KSU found themselves helplessly outmatched against the our impenetrable zone and lightning fast offense.  We tasted victory twice more winning 11-5 and 11-2 against Miami and KSU respectively. 

Day 2 started with a hot matchup between Ghetto Force and Ohio State Leadbelly.  Day 2 was significantly windier than Day 1, with gusts staying around 20-25mph all day.  That being said, Day 2 was very zoney.

what sunday felt like at times

Our game against OSU started with back to back upwind breaks by both teams, so it looked like the makings of a close game.  However, Leadbelly proceeded to crash our cup with the power and ferocity of a thousand Prussian armies, allowing them to successfully march upwind. We fell (valiantly) 5-11.  Much like Day 1, we entered our second game of the day blind with rage and facing a much weaker opponent in Cleveland State.  Ghetto was able to will their way to a victory, just barely, winning 11-5 in a rather quick game.  At this point, something interesting happened.  We heard word that OhioU was in a very close game with Miami.  We went over just in time to see Miami force a turnover and score on universe.  This would have been really important, but we learned soon after that Miami lost to Kent State earlier in the tournament and this stunning turn of events would not end up helping us.  By this point we had secured a bid to regionals, but still had bracket games to play.  

The first was against crosstown rival Wright State.  The game began with Ghetto taking the first point, but immediately after there were some complaints about the beautiful array of color present on the jersey's of Ghettos D-line.  Patrick "Always Calm" Kaufmann engaged in a civil, scholarly discussion with the entire Airstrike team about how "f***ing stupid" it was that Airstrike's light uniforms were actually a dandelion yellow.  Both sides presented very compelling arguments with valid points and unique perspectives. We ended up having to switch to white (minus Peaches).

the sideline's reaction to most arguments made by Peaches

After that Ghetto proceeded to... how do I put this... deliver the People's Elbow to the sternum of Airstrike.  We delivered a payload of deep cut after deep cut downwind and were able to come down with most of them.  Ghetto prevailed in a decisive victory.  

Ghetto Force vs. Airstrike

We moved on to a 4th place game against 1st seeded Cincinnati.  Both teams were exhausted at this point and seemed somewhat content with going to regionals.  Cincy took half 5-8.  After half Ghetto decided that now was not the time to quit.  We were tired, but not tired enough.  Ghetto came out of half with 2 upwind breaks and eventually tied the game 14-14 with a universe point going upwind.  Unfortunately, we were unable to force a turn.  And like all great things, Ghetto's weekend came to an end.  Ghetto ended up taking 5th place at the tournament which is about where we expected, we broke seed by 1 place.  Overall it was a good weekend for Ghetto. We were able to drive back to Dayton with smiles on our faces, happiness in our hearts, and Mixteca on our minds.

mmm tacos

On to regionals....