The UPA is now "USA Ultimate"!!

The UPA is now "USA Ultimate"!!
The UPA has changed its name from the UPA(the Ultimate Players Association) to USA Ultimate

Friday, September 28, 2012

"1-2-3 We're Back"

Welcome,

Introducing, your new electronic troubadours for the 2012-2013 Ghetto Force season Sam Newell, Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Jamie Horne. The times have been a-changing here at Ghetto Force Central with the addition of new leadership in Mark "Markleton" Fedorenko and Adam Tardio, who evidently does have a first name. Also, after the veritable week long marathon tryouts, a new batch of about 40 fresh minted rookies have made their way into the Ghetto Force hurt locker.


                                            Pictured: Veteran keeping in shape over the summer


Right off the bat, Ghetto Force went to it's first tournament with 2 fully equipped teams ready to nick name rookies with every bad nickname ever until one would stick.

This is the part where your loyal blog-stars would talk about the tournament itself. Yet, we would like to take this time to point out that there were almost no bloggers to write this epitaph as we had to drive through -what could be described only as a category 5 hurricane - to make it to West Lafayette, Indiana. Thus, Boiler Breakdown was played at Purdue University in Indiana. Upon arrival, after what was near certain death, several rookies began to question their decisions in joining the team.

As stated before, the teams were broken up evenly into Ghetto Force X and Ghetto Force Y; both with a mix of veterans and rookies. The first day of the tournament was a tumultuous one after a calm morning, conditions shifted for the worse with strong winds.

                                                                It looked a lot like this

Ghetto Force X played a strong first day led by veteran handlers Cap'n Mark and Jordan Manke. Defeating strong teams in Purdue, Indiana, Western Michigan (in an exciting Universe Game), and Kalamazoo, which I'm pretty sure is a place made up by Dr. Seuss. Horton must've been good at hearing hucks. X only loss was against Loyola-Chicago.

We had a few spectators and no shows for this tournament as well. Eric "old man" Hegedus was a no show, in his 4th maybe even his 5th year he would have attended but in his old age the stress was to great. Levi "always injured" Bruce attended the tournament but was not able to play do to a previously dislocated shoulder. However, Levi's ridiculous outfits and clowning antics kept spirits high and helped Dayton X achieve 4 wins on the first day of competition. Bryan "Goldie Locks" Bakker was also attendance but could not play due to "back complications". Bakker and his long flowing hair, exclusive style, and supreme statistics taking ability helped Dayton Y with their first tournament experience.

Ghetto Force Y played all day on a knife's edge, winning 3 out of 5 games and only winning on the last point of each game. The highlight of the day being Jetpack Joe Schlater's family bought the team cheeseburgers.

Below is a short gif showing how Donovan "Dolphin Dive" Phillips manhandled the other team's handlers. Following his example, both teams saw many rookies exhibiting feats of glory. Bidding through fools and skying people to the stone age. There is a lot of hope in the future of this team.

                                                              NOT TODAY, JUNIOR

Day 2 for Ghetto Force was pretty poor across the board, with both teams being plagued by poor play. Ghetto Force X was described by Captain Mark as "Like watching smurfs trying to play defense on an angry herd of giraffes". That might not be a direct quote.

Both teams went 0-4  for the day however, important team bonding occurred and new names were drawn up. Dan Striebich became the Squeaky Tank after Mason "The Dixon Line" Boggs collided with each other. Luke Kalponek became Squid for reasons yet to be determined. Jack Hanson became Skeeter because he basically is Skeeter from Disney's Doug, if you don't know what this is a reference to brush up on your childhood.

So in conclusion, we look forward to the next tournament, Glory Days, in Rockford, Illinois.

Prepare yourself boys, we got a long, fun season ahead of us.

(Ninja Edit: some of our initial grammar/punctuation was atrocious, stay in school kids)