A Tale of Rambo, Trailer Parks, and Waffle Houses

What' this?! Another blog within a week of the last one?!

Yes, dreams do come true.

That is, unless your dream was to win the Granville or Murfreesboro tournaments and you don't play for Ghetto Force. That's right righteous readers, Ghetto Force has closed out a strong fall season by pretty much defeating all adversaries these last 2 months.

Starting first with the Granville tournament which was oddly named Down the Rabbit Hole. Like Alice was gonna come out and throw vicious scoober hucks. On a field outside of a "mansion" the size of a trailer home, Ghetto Force found itself midst a vicious bout for glory, honor, and discos (praise his name). Due to Hurricane Sandy washing out the Cleveland North Coast tournament the week prior, Ghetto Force found itself with a lot of pent up aggression. This fact was not lost on the competition. The closest game Ghetto Force ever played in was a 5 point differential against an alumni team. Not bad numbers considering this was the first tournament for Ghetto Force A having split into A/B teams only a few weeks prior. So Ghetto Force brought home the bacon, unfortunately the trophy was not bacon. In fact, they didn't have anything swaggy for the victors. Bananas were offered yet, no amount of bananas could make up for the lack of a trophy for the victorious Ghetto Force. No more shall be said of the matter.

Aforementioned "Mansion"

As the Granville tournament was short on spots, B - Team was unable to make it in. However, they played 2 matches against Miami and Wright State. The goal was the systematic dismantling of the competition, however, they fell a bit short of this goal. Yet, the matches acted as a great learning experience for the B - Team. Now that they know the secrets of the competition, B - Team will use greater tactics and subterfuge to defeat unworthy adversaries. Rambo once said, "I've always believed that the mind is the greatest weapon".

Never bring a gun to a disc fight

Whew, tired of reading these fantastical words? Too bad, that was only half this blog post. Now, we travel south of the Mason Dixon line, into the fiery reaches of Mordor. Following the allure of great power and an actual trophy reward. A tournament where Ghetto Force won the key to the city of Murfreesboro, we respectfully declined. In Murfreesboro the Waffle House per human capita was far too high. So they cast it into the depths of Mount Doom, or rather, 54 Chambers Street. 

A prize worth of Ghetto Force 

**Special Effects not included**

The competition was better at Murfreesboro but unfortunately the housing situation was not. Jordan Manke brought his camera this time so we actually have a decent idea about what happened. Things we know for sure:

• The rookies played well for both teams, giving a lot of hope for next season
• John Bayer, Cap'n Mark, and Ted handled well; giving their teams some fine throws
• Matt Welter made people run away in terror
• Josh Weitz thought we were in Kentucky

You may have heard of Kentucky blue grass. Well, Tennessee has a little something called dead grass. The ground was an odd yellow shade, mostly associated with nasty dead grass. However, this grass was nice and soft which was a pleasant surprise. Along with wonderful weather, the team got their bronze on between matches. A - Team won all but 1 match on their way to a tournament victory. B - Team unfortunately remains winless although they played much better this time. They will be toning their bodies under El Jefe Bronardo in the mornings to come until victory is achieved. The beatings will continue until victory is achieved, and then thereafter. 

Thus ends this blogathon, Ghetto Force is looking forward to the important Spring season. A day may come when the Ghetto Force blog fails and all hope is lost. But it is not this day!

Thanks for reading, as we go through exams and winter break stay tuned as we should continue to provide some Ghetto Force themed mirth.

PS: Please comment on our posts, we would love your feedback. Let your mind and fingers run free along your keyboard in wonderful commenting joy!

Back and Better than Ever!

First off, please accept our sincere apology about the time between blogs. I wish I could tell you that it was caused by an unwarranted invasion of 54 Chambers Street by Soviet Demon Mice. Yet, in actuality, we’ve just been lazy.

With that in mind: There will be an explosion of Thanksgiving Blogness over the next week or so! The wonderful Ghetto Force correspondents of Peaches, Sam Newell, and yours truly will give you some sweet and savory literary morsels. Let our word gravy help get that tasty turkey down your gullets.

One event that needs immediate attention is the Family Weekend/Alumni Game.

Many friends and family of the Ghetto Force made their way to UD to see what their sons have been doing with their college education. Also, for a lot of folks, this was their first opportunity to see what this “Ultimate Frisbee Disc Flatball” game is. One of my favorite short videos about Ultimate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwBUKDvohSs&feature=youtu.be

The Alumni Game this year was played as 2 games (to 9 points instead of the normal 13/15) with the current Ghetto Force roster split into 2 teams to take on the combined might of the Ancient Alumni.  The alumni came bearing their (many) years of experience and skill which showed in both games. The Alumni won both matches (although the first was hotly contested) and took possession of the newly forged Trophy to Rule Them All from the fires of multiple couches on Kiefaber. Maintaining this (weak) allegory, Brendan Corboy became covetous of said trophy and inspired his fellow Alums to trounce the younglings. 

"Quit staring at my trophy, get your own"

Among many nature defying acts: Eddie Mack showed that he still had a lot left in the tank as he caught several deep huck passes. Brian Jones bid and caught a disc which no one could have ever expected.

Brian Jones pointing out the end zone lines to Alec Dorn

As always, it was great to see the Godfathers of Dayton Ultimate on the field and showing the boys how it’s done. Unfortunately, the Alumni won, thus, I will not make anymore jokes about their age. The game was a great time as always and we hope that the alumni will be back sometime soon. Please let us know if you are coming into town for Alumni Weekend in the summer so that maybe we could organize a scrimmage or some pick up. You guys have a lot of Ultimate knowledge that we would love to learn from.

Having the Ghetto Force alumni on campus is always a great time. Many Alumni told me how they were amazed by the size of the roster and how different it was from only a few years ago. It is awesome to see that same spark that drives current Ghetto Force players in the Alumni.

The hard work of teams of yesteryear has given the team a great identity that is shared by alumni and current players. As always, we are grateful for the work the Alumni put into making Ghetto Force what it is today and we hope to continue that legacy.

I would also like to take a minute to thank the families that helped out setting up everything for the Family Weekend. Especially Mr. and Mrs. Tardio who made a grand feast fit for Prussian kings and queens, I still dream of that pulled pork (while I cry into my Salisbury Steak frozen microwavable dinner).  Also, those who helped donate to the team; your contribution helps significantly. Without you, Ghetto Force would not exist. Also, thank you for your sons – we like them too. 

Thanks for coming to visit and we hope to see you all soon!

Don't forget, there is no crying in frisbee-ball.

Ghetto Days

With the overwhelming success that was the last blog entry, we are back again to sate your thirst for poor verbiage, crude jokes, and overall whimsicality.

Believe it or not, Ghetto Force has already played in their second tournament of the fall season, Glory Days, which occurred the weekend of October 6-7. As this weekend coincided with Fall Break, many G-Forcers were unable to make it to this tournament. A plethora of excuses were used for this absenteeism, the main one being that "I have to go see my family" which is understood as: "I miss my mommy". Although we have offered Ross as a surrogate mother, some of the rookies shy away from his matronly affections.

Ross practicing his consoling skills

In regards to the tournament, we were once again split into 2 teams of X and Y. The team rosters were more or less the same as the rosters used at Boiler Breakaway. The main difference being a swap of captains so Mark and Tardio could survey the other members of the Ghetto Stock with great pride(or disdain). 

Going through some of the highlights for the X team, there was a very interesting spread of play witnessed. The X team played 1 of 2 ways: 

The team played as a dominating force that made the other team cry due to a smothering zone defense 

or 

They assumed room temperature like Old Yeller. 

The first day was disappointing with 2 hard losses. However, the team had an incredible come from behind victory against Illinois State where they won 14-13 on Universe Point. The X team ended up going 4-3 for the tournament in a solid showing. A list of some of the feats of valor for the x team is as follows:

• Ryan Schubert being the righteous hand of defense and D'ing everything thrown near his mark
• Mike "Rapsheet" Mills reminding people that gingers steal souls and catch lots of hucks
• Captain Mark Markleton throwing high release flicks over people
• Brandon Rush and Connor Ellis hurdling over fools
• Along with Bob and Donovan doing some solid work as cutters
• Ted Lannert playing great Zone defense
• Jamie Horne threw a completed huck to Matt Kolb/Kobb/CornCob causing hell to immediately freeze over

Seduction: The greater part of defense

In regards to the Y team led by El jefe muy bueno, Adam Tardio, there were also many noteworthy players. Fighting through a tough pool on day 1, the Y team was unable to record a W. However, they did take a strong Michigan team to 13-10. With these tough losses in mind, the resilient boys rallied hard to fight the next day to record 2 wins on Sunday. Jetpack Joe showed up to play in a neon green construction coat which was so obnoxiously bright, the opposing team could not find him. The garrulous Dominic Leyden threw over the shoulder fakes which dazzled and caused mass hysteria/confusion. Speaking of confusion, supersonic wielding Zubat Grewal and flow wielding "Fabio" Huels handled admirably. Josh "Lippy" Maloney finally lived up to his ever present smack talking and played great defense. Super Tim was exceptionally super as always, macking a disc over his defender just to sky said defender in the endzone for a point. Dylan Corwin became the "Sticky Bandit", robbing many fools of their ill protected throws. Most amazing of all, Dan Sullivan managed to walk onto the field "voluntarily" after Tardio dangled a cold Dr Pepper in front of him. 

Dylan's nickname is totes not a form of infringement

Thanks to the Kolb, Lannert, and Schlater for showing up to cheer us on, we really appreciate the fans. Efforts will be taken to keep this from going to our heads however once we hit 10 fans we're getting an agent.

With parent's weekend coming up soon, there will be an influx of family, friends, and alumni making their way to the lovely Dayton, Ohio. Please make sure to keep your parents informed of the events this weekend and help Mark and Tardio get everything set up. Otherwise, Tardio will hunt you down, you will not be able to outrun him.

Until next time, please make sure to help control the pet population, give all strays you find to Zach Kaylor.

"1-2-3 We're Back"

Welcome,

Introducing, your new electronic troubadours for the 2012-2013 Ghetto Force season Sam Newell, Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Jamie Horne. The times have been a-changing here at Ghetto Force Central with the addition of new leadership in Mark "Markleton" Fedorenko and Adam Tardio, who evidently does have a first name. Also, after the veritable week long marathon tryouts, a new batch of about 40 fresh minted rookies have made their way into the Ghetto Force hurt locker.

                                            Pictured: Veteran keeping in shape over the summer


Right off the bat, Ghetto Force went to it's first tournament with 2 fully equipped teams ready to nick name rookies with every bad nickname ever until one would stick.

This is the part where your loyal blog-stars would talk about the tournament itself. Yet, we would like to take this time to point out that there were almost no bloggers to write this epitaph as we had to drive through -what could be described only as a category 5 hurricane - to make it to West Lafayette, Indiana. Thus, Boiler Breakdown was played at Purdue University in Indiana. Upon arrival, after what was near certain death, several rookies began to question their decisions in joining the team.

As stated before, the teams were broken up evenly into Ghetto Force X and Ghetto Force Y; both with a mix of veterans and rookies. The first day of the tournament was a tumultuous one after a calm morning, conditions shifted for the worse with strong winds.

                                                                It looked a lot like this

Ghetto Force X played a strong first day led by veteran handlers Cap'n Mark and Jordan Manke. Defeating strong teams in Purdue, Indiana, Western Michigan (in an exciting Universe Game), and Kalamazoo, which I'm pretty sure is a place made up by Dr. Seuss. Horton must've been good at hearing hucks. X only loss was against Loyola-Chicago.

We had a few spectators and no shows for this tournament as well. Eric "old man" Hegedus was a no show, in his 4th maybe even his 5th year he would have attended but in his old age the stress was to great. Levi "always injured" Bruce attended the tournament but was not able to play do to a previously dislocated shoulder. However, Levi's ridiculous outfits and clowning antics kept spirits high and helped Dayton X achieve 4 wins on the first day of competition. Bryan "Goldie Locks" Bakker was also attendance but could not play due to "back complications". Bakker and his long flowing hair, exclusive style, and supreme statistics taking ability helped Dayton Y with their first tournament experience.

Ghetto Force Y played all day on a knife's edge, winning 3 out of 5 games and only winning on the last point of each game. The highlight of the day being Jetpack Joe Schlater's family bought the team cheeseburgers.

Below is a short gif showing how Donovan "Dolphin Dive" Phillips manhandled the other team's handlers. Following his example, both teams saw many rookies exhibiting feats of glory. Bidding through fools and skying people to the stone age. There is a lot of hope in the future of this team.

                                                              NOT TODAY, JUNIOR

Day 2 for Ghetto Force was pretty poor across the board, with both teams being plagued by poor play. Ghetto Force X was described by Captain Mark as "Like watching smurfs trying to play defense on an angry herd of giraffes". That might not be a direct quote.

Both teams went 0-4  for the day however, important team bonding occurred and new names were drawn up. Dan Striebich became the Squeaky Tank after Mason "The Dixon Line" Boggs collided with each other. Luke Kalponek became Squid for reasons yet to be determined. Jack Hanson became Skeeter because he basically is Skeeter from Disney's Doug, if you don't know what this is a reference to brush up on your childhood.

So in conclusion, we look forward to the next tournament, Glory Days, in Rockford, Illinois.

Prepare yourself boys, we got a long, fun season ahead of us.

(Ninja Edit: some of our initial grammar/punctuation was atrocious, stay in school kids)

"Ghetto Shootout" Proves to have "Swag"

We hope this message finds you well. It has been a little while since our last post, and just like Michael Mills yearns for violent crime, you need our words. We apologize for depriving you of that.

From the sweat of their brow, the new Ghetto Forcers have shown their devotion, the old Ghetto Forcers have shown their loyalty, and the injured kids just hang out. 

A mere two weeks ago, the Ghetto Force hosted it's first tournament for many of the players' first time at UD. The "Ghetto Shootout" invited A and B teams from Cincinatti and Wright Street to play in a small, local tournament.

The A team started with a game against UC. As Phil motivated the team (strangely not by threats of sprints and burpees), a truly talented line was put on to the field to crush the enemy like the insects they were. After a slow (like really slow) start, the team began to rally back into the game. UC closed the half at 7-4. After a hard fought battle for the rest of the game, the team fell to UC 13-9. Jordan (not-to-be-confused-with-Primeape) Manke, Zach (BustBack Team Member) Kaylor, and Mark (new-attendance-page-nanny) Federenko all had huge D's. 

In their second game against Wright State, Alex (the Dazzle) Frasz dropped a pull.

After another hard fought battle, the Ghetto Force fell 13-12 to Wright State.

In an all out annhilation, the B-team was defeated by Wright State's A team. There will be no further discussion on the matter. 

In their second and third games, the Ghetto Farce (Dayton B-Squad) fell to Cincinatti's B-team 13-8 and beat Wright State's B-team 13-5. Ted (the teddy bear) Lannert skyed someone in this game (...??). Fun was had by all involved. 

Among both teams, drops and poor throws seem to be the biggest problems.

Upon completion of the morning practice portion of the year, the Force has moved on to outdoor practices led by Captain-elect Mark (already-has-a-nickname-earlier-in-the-post) Federenko.  

The Ghetto Force looks forward to traveling to Miami, OH, for the annual "Boogie Nights" tournament. Best of the luck to the boys and farewell our faithful followers. PEACE.

G-H-E-DOUBLE P-O

Twas the night before workouts, and all through the ghetto, not a player was having fun, not even Pat Bello. The running shoes were nestled and ready to be worn, dreams of sprints and burpee squares left the players forlorn. With Peaches and Ross, shining bigger and brighter, have begun their regime as the new blog writers.

Hello all,

First of all, let us introduce ourselves. Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Ross "the Hoss" Gueltzow are your new blog writers for the spring season. We would like you to know just how privileged your eyes are about to become. We have traveled far and wide studying blogging techniques in the Orient and in Turkey. We have decided to bring our talents back to South Dayton for your reading pleasure. We are honored to have been chosen for this prestigious position and will treat it with the utmost respect and diligence. We know the gravity of our words. 

Without any further jargon, we will commence to the discussions of the UD MEN'S CLUB ULTIMATE FRISBEE TEAM.

 

Our Fall season, as you steadfast readers may know, ended with a cliff-hanger. Our last tournament of the season was Glory Days in Lowell, IN. Split into X and Y squads, the teams were split were somewhat evenly. Captain Phil "Kim Jong-Phil" Brodrick led Dayton Y, a group primarily composed of rookies, through a tough day of "learning experiences." Dayton X, led by seniors Zach "Co-President of Student Beard Board" Kaylor and Alex "Student Beard Board Traitor" Frasz. Dayton X played well, with victories of Indiana X, Northwestern Y, Southern Illinois A and Illinois-Chicago.

After Glory Days, the members of the Ghetto Force invited their beautiful families to Dayton for UD's annual Parent Weekend. With the completion of Stuart Field's improvements, the team was able to show their parents how athletic and cool they were on some killer astro-turf. The Ghetto Force took part in an inter-team scrimmage as well as taking on the Get-Old Force, the Ghetto Force's alumni team. The Get-Old Force fell. However, fun was had by all involved and culminated in a pasta feast fit for royalty. 

                                           Evan Corcoran as a sophomore at UD.

The Ghetto Force delegates were then able to take a brief respite and get loads of presents which is awesome.

Upon our return, we were greeted by two fine new leaders of the Ghetto Force. As President-elect Adam "nonickname" Tardio and Captain-elect Mark "Mark" Fedorenko prepare to phase into responsibilities given to them by their makers (Alan "Butters" Smith and Phil "O Captain, My Captain" Brodrick), their subordinates patiently wait instructions. 

As we begin the spring semester workouts, look forward to more updates concerning the team. We will sweat, we will cry, and we will win. 

Faith, Love, and Ghetto Force Ultimate,

Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Ross "the Hoss" Gueltzow

P.S. - Ross messed up the G-H-E-DOUBLE T-O cheer many moons ago. What he said is in the title.