Day Two KY CLASSIC

Written by: Jonsey

Day 2

Indiana: 15 – 9

Having finished 2^nd in their pool on Day 1, Ghetto arrived at the fields on Day 2 to face the #1 overall seed of the tournament in the first round of the championship bracket. For the second day in a row, Ghetto came out in the first half of game one flatter than Butters’ chest. The wind was tremendous, and sloppy play by Ghetto combined with a formidable zone by Indiana caused Ghetto to be rolled in a half for the first time all season. Led by a 5^th year handler with a Mohawk that simply defied physics with its rigidity, Indiana schooled Ghetto up and down the field and eventually took half 8 – 2. During halftime, the Force decided to get their respective heads out of their respective John Brown hind parts and start actually playing Ultimate. The second half turned into a much more competitive game, involving several up-wind breaks by Ghetto thanks to Ghetto’s ever impressive zone-D. The game ended at a disappointing but respectable score of 15 – 9.

Miami: 15 – 6

The loss to Indiana meant Ghetto would be demoted to the 5^th place bracket. Ghetto’s first opponent in this bracket was to be the archrival Boogie Men of Miami (the Ohio Miami, not the cool one Will Smith raps about). A full Ghetto squad had defeated roughly half of Miami’s squad at Boogie Nights earlier in the season. Now, the situation was to essentially be reversed; A Ghetto squad missing many key components was to face a nearly full Miami team. Ghetto was determined to put in a performance that would grant them a final statement win in what so far had been a disappointing weekend. The Force came out strong early, once again employing zone-D to great effect. Miami’s handlers were simply overwhelmed by Ghetto’s stifling D, and it quickly became clear that Ghetto would once again roll their rivals from Oxford (Again, the Ohio Oxford, not the impressive British one). Miami waved the white flag early and Ghetto took the game 15 – 6.

Huxedo: 15 – 7

Ghetto’s final task in order to wrap up 5^th place (and an awesome trophy with lots of goodies inside) was to defeat the alumni team Huxedo. As a token alumni team, Huxedo had a few studs who could huck like champs, a couple guys who could run, and a bunch of fat dudes. Nonetheless, Huxedo looked to be a formidable opponent. Ghetto was now down yet another player; senior Eric Hegedus had been lost mid-day to vicious flesh-eating bacteria. This meant an even thinner Ghetto lineup had to muster the energy to end the weekend with a win. The Force came out very strong and quickly took a 5 – 0 lead. However, fatigue and overly pacifist play by Ghetto allowed Huxedo to make a run and get back into the game, bringing the score within to 2 points. After a sloppy point, Ghetto took half on a huck from Zack “The Dog Wisperer” Kaylor to Mark “Squirrel” Fedorenko that was as delicious to watch at mama Gueltzow’s cheesy potatoes are to eat. The second half remained decently close, but increased intensity by Ghetto meant the game would never really be in question. A highlight of the second half came when senior Brian Jones made what was by far his greatest defensive play of the season; With yet another Phil Brodrick pull pinning Huxedo on the corner of their own goal line, Ghetto threw their zone D with Adam “cookie monster” Tardio marking, and Jones playing the break-side wing. After several fakes the handler with the disc called a foul on Tardio, stopping play. In the short break, Jones shouted to Tardio that he personally guaranteed the handler with the disc would not even dare to attempt to throw an I.O. flick dump given the wind, and thus Tardio should shift farther to his right when marking. The handler heard this guarantee, shot Jones a nasty glare, and proceeded to check in the disc. Immediately, the handler attempted to throw an I.O. flick dump. As expected, the throw horribly turfed, giving Ghetto the disc on their opponent’s goal line. Mid-mid Zack Kaylor turned to Jones, and the two shared a hearty laugh over Jones’ ability to so effectively manipulate the handlers’ feeble mind. Ghetto punched in the score, and the game ended soon after on a great grab by Josh “Pretty Boy Swag” Weitz on a questionable huck from Captain Phil Brodrick. Ghetto took the fifth place showdown by a score of 15 – 7.

After a hard fought weekend filled with many ups and downs, Ghetto headed to the Gueltzow household to stuff their respective faces with scrumptious southern cooking and watch a kid younger than many of them totally screw up the back nine of the final round of the masters. Ghetto is primed for the impending Conference Championships next weekend, and is excited to continue their streak of domination.