Whips and Chains

So I'm pretty bad at keeping this blog updated on a weekly basis. You would think that being a second semester senior taking 13 credit hours (1 of which is Scuba Diving) that I could produce lots of savory and sweet blog posts on a fairly regular basis.

Please significantly lower your expectations, I am but a man.

A very busy man

Therefore I will try to write shorter posts but (try) to write them more often.

So here it goes:

The fall season is over and the icy cold grasp of winter is upon us. As if it weren't cold enough outside during a normal Dayton winter, this one has been particularly awful. Some kind of ice devil from some evil land called "Canada" has invaded the lands of the Ghetto Force. No such kind of awfulness has visited UD since the week long blackout of yore (even before this elderly blogger's time).

With winter comes one of my favorite Ultimate pass times, complaining about the weather and contemplating why I play this god forsaken game. I mean, I'm definitely still in it for the chicks and all. They dig a man who can chase a piece of rotating plastic. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never skied a girl. That look they give you afterwards is one of pure love and admiration. If you doubt me, go try it yourself.

Now that's Love

However I am glossing over the worst part of winter, "Morning Conditioning"

Trying to wake up for Conditioning at 6:30

I'm now going to attempt a horrendously forced allegory! It's cool though because it involves pirates.

All my former English teachers upon realizing I didn't learn anything from them

Alan and Jordan are like the captains of a 17th century pirate ship. The Ghetto Force mans this ship as it's merry crew as we go about plundering other team's booty err stealing wins from other teams. Like all good captains that love and adore their crew, Alan and Jordan use a variety of whips and chains in the form of running and other unnatural body movements. I like to think of it as a odd way of love.

We are a Motley and Imposing Crew

Yet when it comes for Florida Invite we shall sweep upon the unsuspecting teams of the south like a foul lingering wind. Lingering because we will leave a lasting impression on everyone (see what I did there?).

Before I violate more rules of grammar, vocabulary, and explicit meaning I am going to end this post.

Keep lifting my friends, we have a fresh season ahead of us and NATIONALS IN CINCINNATI.

Also, if you don't fill out the workout log thing Alan will have a brain hemorrhage out of pure rage. Assuming he survives the hemorrhage, he will be very cross with us...

Why yes, I did in fact use a lot of picture and gifs to make it look like I wrote a lot :)

J.