Well, We're here

I am going to keep this post simple and to the point.

Here is my hour by hour chain of events from the drive from Dayton, Ohio to Tampa, Florida.

Things that happened before 12:00 AM Thursday:

Sam Newell and Jordan Manke's flights were cancelled. They were unable to secure alternative forms of transportation and will not be able to make it this weekend.

12:00 AM - A Pontiac G6 and Honda Odyssey consisting of 9 Ghetto Forcers leave 410 Stonemill Road. Road conditions are good and spirits are high.

2:00 AM - Rapsheet lands in Tampa, Florida.

3:00 AM - The land transport vehicles make it to the mountains in Kentucky. This would normally not be a problem except mother nature decided to start snowing. Quoting concerns over my own life, I turned the reins over to Dylan Corwin who man moded it through the mountains. He made that Pontiac drive like a snow plow. In fact, he drove it better than a snow plow as we saw 2 stranded on the side of the road. It was at this point that I started to wonder if I was going to die.

4:00 AM - Waffle house. An older gentleman from Tennessee laughs at us for driving through the storm as he climbs into the cab of his 4X4 Ford F-350.

5:00 AM - We escape the mountains. Barely.

9:00 AM - Tennessee was thankfully uneventful and the roads were well maintained.

10:00 AM - Atlanta, Georgia was hilariously shut down. 2 lanes were open all the way through the city yet I saw:

• At least 20+ abandoned cars
• <10 Cars on the road with Georgia license plates
• The 10 Georgia Cars that were on the road had (I shit you not) chains on their tire. Chains.
• A semi truck on its side with the driver standing beside it, staring at it, and scratching his head.

11:00 AM - We stopped at a chicken restaurant called "Zaxbys" which was like a really average version of Cane's chicken

12:00 PM - After several enticing billboards offering Pecans and Strippers throughout South Georgia (with Trucker Parking in rear!), we cross the state line into Florida. It was only slightly before this state boundary that we saw the last vestiges of snow on the ground. It was at this point that we learned that Mark Fedorenko had been rerouted to Orlando. Alan's van goes to go pick him up.

2:00 PM - Word comes in that Jack Hanson and Peaches' flights have been cancelled, They will be missing the tournament as well. I cry large crocodile tears. 

4:00 PM - My car finally makes it to the hotel except the hotel could not follow simple instructions that John Bayer had dictated which would allow me to check in. Therefore we dropped Ian and Dylan off in order to...

6:00 PM - We pick up Rapsheet from the airport (after we sat in traffic for 2 more awesome hours)

7:00 PM - I eat at Chile's and had desert. I forgot at this point that it was still Thursday.

9:30 PM - I pick up John Bayer from the airport bringing up my total car time on the day to about 18 hours.

We start playing tomorrow at 9:00, I should have a blog post up recap for each day so please keep coming back. Everything that could possibly go wrong has already gone wrong. With logic like that, we will have to start clearing room in my Pontiac for a new trophy.

Shout Out to Steve Jira, Brandon Rush, and Dylan Corwin who helped Alan and I drive. 

Step aside Robinson Crusoe. At least your desert island didn't have snow on it.

Operation Shock and Thaw

In light of the team leaving the frozen tundra of southwestern Ohio I have taken the liberty to develop a plan of attack on this mystical place called "Florida".

Step 1: Travel

Florida is pretty far away from Ohio.

That's a lot of miles

The team will be traveling by Van and Plane to a place called Tampa Bay. Fortunately Tampa Bay has several similarities with Cleveland in that they both have very crappy NFL Football teams so we should feel at home.

Step 2: Master Local Fauna

Ain't he cute!

Nothing quite says preparation for a premier Ultimate tournament like wrestling Alligators. So we're going to cover Jack Hanson in taco bell ground beef and sending him for a little swim in the everglades. But don't worry, I've seen like 3 episodes of Swamp People so I feel qualified to wrestle with an Alligator. Also, considering Florida's stance on firearms, it shouldn't be too difficult to acquire an Alligator hunting rifle.

Step 3: Thaw

This post needed a Star Wars reference

After we have fashioned a year's supply worth of alligator skin boots and wallets, we must thaw from the rigors of Siberian Dayton winter. It is hard to throw a thumber when your thumb has been frozen to your index finger for 3 weeks. We are going to have to tan until our skin is at least no longer reflecting light.

Step 4: Shock

This part of the plan is fairly obvious.

We leave a week from Thursday.

Get stoked (and yoked).

J.

Tentative Spring 2014 Schedule

Hi all, I have received this schedule from the captains. Please feel free to come and cheer/heckle us on.

February 8          Cedarville Scrimmage @ Home
February 14-16   Florida Warm Up @ Tampa Bay, Florida (A Only)
March 1-2          Case Western Tournament @ Cleveland, Ohio (A, Potentially B)
March 15-16      Boogie Nights @ Oxford, Ohio (B Only)
March 22-23      The Rock @ Rockford, Illinois (A and B)***

Mid April            Sectionals @ Versailles, Ohio
Late April            Regionals @ Undetermined Location

College Nationals will be in lovely Cincinnati, Ohio (technically Mason, Ohio).

Case tournament is not 100%

*** We actually received a sponsorship from Ultiworld (for the tournament) in a blind application selection. Alan did most of the work and I added some '"Flavor".

J.

Whips and Chains

So I'm pretty bad at keeping this blog updated on a weekly basis. You would think that being a second semester senior taking 13 credit hours (1 of which is Scuba Diving) that I could produce lots of savory and sweet blog posts on a fairly regular basis.

Please significantly lower your expectations, I am but a man.

A very busy man

Therefore I will try to write shorter posts but (try) to write them more often.

So here it goes:

The fall season is over and the icy cold grasp of winter is upon us. As if it weren't cold enough outside during a normal Dayton winter, this one has been particularly awful. Some kind of ice devil from some evil land called "Canada" has invaded the lands of the Ghetto Force. No such kind of awfulness has visited UD since the week long blackout of yore (even before this elderly blogger's time).

With winter comes one of my favorite Ultimate pass times, complaining about the weather and contemplating why I play this god forsaken game. I mean, I'm definitely still in it for the chicks and all. They dig a man who can chase a piece of rotating plastic. Anyone who tells you otherwise has never skied a girl. That look they give you afterwards is one of pure love and admiration. If you doubt me, go try it yourself.

Now that's Love

However I am glossing over the worst part of winter, "Morning Conditioning"

Trying to wake up for Conditioning at 6:30

I'm now going to attempt a horrendously forced allegory! It's cool though because it involves pirates.

All my former English teachers upon realizing I didn't learn anything from them

Alan and Jordan are like the captains of a 17th century pirate ship. The Ghetto Force mans this ship as it's merry crew as we go about plundering other team's booty err stealing wins from other teams. Like all good captains that love and adore their crew, Alan and Jordan use a variety of whips and chains in the form of running and other unnatural body movements. I like to think of it as a odd way of love.

We are a Motley and Imposing Crew

Yet when it comes for Florida Invite we shall sweep upon the unsuspecting teams of the south like a foul lingering wind. Lingering because we will leave a lasting impression on everyone (see what I did there?).

Before I violate more rules of grammar, vocabulary, and explicit meaning I am going to end this post.

Keep lifting my friends, we have a fresh season ahead of us and NATIONALS IN CINCINNATI.

Also, if you don't fill out the workout log thing Alan will have a brain hemorrhage out of pure rage. Assuming he survives the hemorrhage, he will be very cross with us...

Why yes, I did in fact use a lot of picture and gifs to make it look like I wrote a lot :)

J.

Episode 3: Return of the Blog

Due to the Government Shut Down, we haven't been able to update the blog since February. If you don't understand why we couldn't do it even when the government was operating - well, that's politics for ya. Anyways, this blog post turned out to be massive and Incomplete. So give it a gander now and then I will update this real nice like later this week hopefully.

Our work ethic is similar

So much has happened since the end of last season and the beginning of this one so I'm going to spend some time on that whole story.

Following Florida Warm Up ye olde Force struggled, we suffered from horrific weather, and Poseidon decided to completely ruin tournaments by crying several inches of rain on the fields. Fun example, Sectionals last year - Usually played right up I-75 at the fields at Versailles. Due to a rain out we were forced to play in Cleveland. I know right? Sucks.

As a Browns fan I can say - Truly a Factory of Sadness

But, collectively I would say we have very short term memory. Last season was a lesson and we learned a lot but we used the Men In Black memory eraser thing to forget about the less desirable stuff.

We didn't win everything? What?

We did some great things and we're ready to build on them. Captains Jordan "Of the Equine Variety" Manke and Alan "Totally Not of the Steve Variety" Huels are quite "Turnt Up" (as the youngsters say) for this year of Ultimate. Also, taking over the president role from the graduated Adam Tardio, we have John Bayer. Another new head honcho of the B team this year is JetPack Joe Schlater ready to lead Bernardo Morales' Brawl squad (The B Team) to winning many more games (and becoming sculpted like Titans).

He looks even better in Real Life

There has already been some sweet Ghetto Force Ultimate action this year with quite a few tournaments I need to update you on. Although I will be doing this from memory I promise not to embellish a single thing.

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge

First Tournament of the Fall Season: Wright State (Wing IDK what it was - I'm pretty sure they ask what kind of Strike they make when they score - ANNUNCIATION IS IMPORTANT) Conspiracy played right up the road in Versailles, Ohio. The team was split into two squads - Alan Huels led team X, Jordan Manke led team Y(eezus). The first tournament is usually an interesting one, the rookies get to show us old folks what it was like to be young once. Also in attendance at this tournament was a squad of Ghetto Force alumni who decided that this particular tournament would be a "Day of Sports".

Both teams got the chance to shake off some rust and bond with all the new faces this year. Team Y did better than X but Y did have the indignity of losing to the Alumni team...

Cool things I remember from the tournament along with notable nick names

• People reforming the vertical stack (Mostly!)
• Rookies throwing up field (FLICKS!!!)
• Eric Myers handling
• Kevin Obergefell wearing blue shorts and officially becoming "New-Troy"
• Hucks on Hucks
• Conner Dougherty becoming Cuddles
• Alex Connors becoming Slick Rick
• Andre Dessert became Dr. Dre
• Jake from State Farm was there
• Ryan Krouse is Ron Burgundy?
• Tommy Tapple bobbled hucks in the end zone to make himself look better

Perhaps my favorite part of the fall season thus far, the result of the Alumni Weekend tournament. Every year, it is tradition for the Alumni to come back to UD for a scrimmage over who gets to keep the Championship Cup of Champions. Last year, the Alumni (Through obvious debauchery) won the game and the Trophy sat (quite sadly I imagine) next to Travis Knight's cat's litter box. Yet it was the youth who prevailed this year and returned the trophy to it's rightful home on the University of Dayton's campus. Unfortunately for the Alumni, no take backs was declared. It was a great weekend and a ton of fun to see familiar faces. Please come back more often, it's more personal to gloat in person than over a blog ;)

Also, I would like to make a huge shout out to the parents of this team.Without your (and that of the Alumni) this team would be a mess. Big thanks especially to the Manke, Bayer, and Huels family who hosted the mighty after scrimmage feast. You guys are awesome.

Following this tournament we split (provisionally) A and B to go to 2 separate tournaments. A team played stiff competition at the Cincinnati Showcase while the B team traveled to Western Illinois for a tournament. 

Starting with Cincy Showcase, Day 1 went very well. The A-Team went 3-0 in a 6 team bracket. Lots of rookies were making excellent plays and Mrs. Schubert came and brought us Chipotle. I'm fairly certain that places her in the running for Mom of the Year. Ghetto Force beat 3 tough split squads from OU, SUNY Buffalo, and UC. Believe it or not, at this tournament Sam Newell managed to complete a flick huck. I know right?

I swore that when I ate it, choirs of angels sang (Thanks again Mrs. Schubert)

Following pool play, we played a crossover game with Michigan's full team to determine bracket seed. The game was closer than the final score of 13 - 9 with many positives occurring throughout the game. The whole weekend, the rookies composure astounded me and the team never lost heart.

It is worth noting that there was a steady rain all throughout the day on Day 2 so the fields had become a mud pit. Many sweet sliding bids happened and Peaches wore a cowboy hat making many people look silly in pictures. On day 2 the the team played a split squad from the reigning College National Champs, Pittsburgh. We fought valiantly but unfortunately the result did not fall our way with a tight 14 - 12 loss. 

In regards to the B-Team, I am going to get together with Joe to do them justice but I heard of some great work being done by Steve Jira, Slick Rick, and the big man Joe himself. 

Finally, I can start typing about the most recent tournament that occurred last weekend at the Illinois Invite. Ghetto Force was again split squad X and Y and ready to do some serious damage. This weekend was also Club Nationals which Mark Fedorenko and former Czar of UD Ultimate Eddie Mack both participated in repping the Ghetto Force.

This is an Eddie Mack impersonator

The first day of the Illinois Invite both teams came out firing losing only 1 game a piece. Unfortunately I was not in attendance due to a family engagement in Chicago so I will again be getting more information on this soon (STAY TUNED). However I do know that Steve Jira and Ted Lannert were out there doing great work along with positives from most of the team overall.

Looking forward both A and B teams will be going in separate ways for 1 last hurrah before the end of the semester. Things are looking good and I look forward to posting more often assuming an angry mob doesn't come after me for poor humor and or grammar. Although that might just inspire me to start writing these posts in Comic Sans.

***BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE***

This Post is still in Progress and I promise to follow up and give you sweet words on the B-Team's Escapade to Western Illinois and the more recent Illinois Invite.

However, until then I'm signing off folks - T.Wiz.

Glory, White Horses, and Warm Weather: an Insider View of Florida Warm-up

Cold, mud, wet, snow, perma-frost, hypothermia, shivering, miserable......these are a few of the words I would use to describe the cursed Tournament known as Arctic Vogue. Needless to say this blogger and Ghetto Forcer was beyond excited to head south of the Mason-Dixon once again.

Off to Tampa! To Warm up: A Florida Affair a pleasantly titled tournament hosted on USF's campus. Another blogger gave us all a brilliant, magical, and insightful look of what went down from the outside view but I'm here to tell the tale as someone who lived and breathed that humid Tampa air.

A good many (15) of the A team traveled in whichever way they could find down to Florida for possibly the most exiciting tournament of the year this past weekend. So, here we go day 1 found Ghetto full of spirit, this was due to the scent of competition and beautiful weather. In historic Ghetto fashion we played a terrible first half against the University of Florida, however we rallied and made it a close game in the second half trading points but eventually falling by 5. Let's not speak of our game against Wisconsin or that of Florida State for the odds were staked against us in both games. In the last game of the day however Ghetto competed against Massachusetts and played one of their better games of the day but still ended up with a loss.

0-4 on day one was not the best start to the Florida Affair. Fear not, because a day may come when Ghetto Force goes 0-7 but it was not Saturday. Ghetto came out hot against Cornell and our zone D made their offense look pitifull and weak. The marks and mids did and excellent job of point blocking and the wings contained any up-field throws. More importantly a shout out to Captain Mark Fedorenko for running the air as deep-deep. I mean literally not one member of Cornell touched the disc when contested by Mark. He ran the air similar to Tom Cruise in Ghetto Force's favorite movie: TOP GUN

Cornell thought that their extensive knowledge of economics could help them defeat us, but Nate Jones quickly informed them that "we have seen boobs" and to an insult to injury we defeated Cornell and that began our win streak. Next we made a mockery of host team USF, easily vanquishing them. Chanting "we aren't even supposed to be here" "where the hell is Dayton" we were a force to be reckoned with.

Next Dayton faced the other and better Georgia, Georgia Tech. This was Ghetto Force's best game of the tournament. Shouts to Jordan "the Stallion" Manke for going blind with rage and intensity flying through the air racking up layout D after layout D. It looked somewhat similar to this......

Coming back late, and breaking GT for a win this was Ghetto's triumphant moment!

After going 3-0 day 2 people started to turn their heads and wonder what this mystery team from the Mid-West was all about. We had a huge test in front us though. Day 3 we faced the legendary Carelton. Little did they know we had someone of legend as well Patrick "The Peach" Kaufmann. Ghetto fought hard with great play coming on both defense and offense. But, alas Ghetto was defeated 14-13 in a hard cap time limit that had we been able to play it out, we believe we could have won. This was huge for Ghetto!!!

This weekend not only did we prove to Cornell that boobs>economics, nobody can beat the Stallion, Peaches is still awesome, Mark and Sammy Van have fully torqued hucks, but that Dayton Ultimate can win big games and has huge potential. We put ourselves on the ultimate radar boys!!!!!

WE WEREN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE THERE!

A New Sheriff is in Town/#WINNING

After receiving threats against my life from one Ghetto Force team president I have "decided" that it is time for yet another riveting Ghetto Force Blog Post.

I'm a big fan of lists so I'm just going to throw down a few reasons this has taken several months to happen:

1. The view that deadlines are arbitrary
2. A vile mouse (moose) infestation in my house that has consumed my attention (Think the gopher and Bill Murry in Caddy Shack)
3. School Work (video games)

Ok, ok maybe I've been a bit lazy.

However, events of this past weekend demand immediate attention and have stirred up my creative spirits quite vigorously. The Ghetto Force A team traveled by land, air, and sea to the mystical land of "Tampa, Florida" where it is supposedly not cloudy and terrible everyday in the winter. There some of the greatest teams in all of the land had gathered for a 3 day tournament of strength and skill.

This tournament is known as Warm Up: A Florida Affair and it is one of the best tournaments in the nation. Top ranking teams were there to battle it out for glory and seeding in the yet young tournament. Due to the diligence and hard work of Ghetto Forcers past, we were granted a bid this year to this awesome tournament. Thus 15 of our best and brightest traveled south to cross swords with some other incredibly talented players and teams. This tournament gets a lot of attention in Ultimate media via Ultiworld and Skydmagazine so I will let them tell how epic this weekend really was for UD.

Here is the Ultiworld preview - Seeded second to last with little hope:

They were so wrong, check out this intelligent comment found on this very post:

I don't know who/what a Trapwizard is but he must be clairvoyant or something. The first day for Ghetto Force was rough - They lost all 4 games against great teams. The writers at Ultiworld probably felt pretty good about themselves at this point.

Then this happened:

I don't know who this "Trapwizard" fella is, but he doesn't seem like a liar. Just a really smart, unbiased guy who did his research. I mean, come on - that's just good journalism. Regardless of the jilted wizard:

THAT'S RIGHT - DAYTON GHETTO FORCE KICKED ASS ON SATURDAY

Lose 4 straight games? Pfft, more life rested to show people how it's done Saturday. Unfortunately, I was not there so I don't know the greater details of what went down - I will leave that to the other bloggers - but I imagine it involved supernatural feats of strength and high release forehands. Thus, Dayton was to play Carleton Sunday morning. Literally, the #4 team in the nation.

Sounds daunting right? I would agree with you. However, much like the 300 Spartans, the 15 Ghettomen laughed in the faces of adversity.

They played point for point, ultimately getting handled a loss due to hard cap 14-13. That's right, 15 of the 27 man roster - on the THIRD DAY OF THIS TOURNAMENT - gave Carleton a huge scare.

People are taking notice of Ghetto Force but don't take my word for it:


But wait, there's more!



If that doesn't make you proud to be a part of the Ghetto Force Family I don't know what will. None of this was possible without the hard work of the Ghetto Forcers of yore who built this team to what it is today.

As one last note, the B-Team, now known as Bernardo Morales Brawl Squad will travel to Kentucky to play in a tournament this coming weekend with a lot of talented A-Teams. They look to bring the pain and utilize some new skills. One wonders how vomiting on an opponent fits in the rule book. It just sounds like a really good/distracting fake to me.

Also, there was tournament 2 weekends ago called Arctic Vogue. However, it was cold, the fields were really bad, and the whole experience kind of sucked for all involved so I'm just going to kind of pass over it at this juncture. It's kinda like in the movie Hot Tub Time Machine where they all get upset when they talk about what happened in Cincinnati. One doesn't talk about Arctic Vogue.

One more note - Our former beloved leader has been playing valiantly out West for Stanford. I'm going to leave this here and allow you to interpret it as you will ;)

A Tale of Rambo, Trailer Parks, and Waffle Houses

What' this?! Another blog within a week of the last one?!

Yes, dreams do come true.

That is, unless your dream was to win the Granville or Murfreesboro tournaments and you don't play for Ghetto Force. That's right righteous readers, Ghetto Force has closed out a strong fall season by pretty much defeating all adversaries these last 2 months.

Starting first with the Granville tournament which was oddly named Down the Rabbit Hole. Like Alice was gonna come out and throw vicious scoober hucks. On a field outside of a "mansion" the size of a trailer home, Ghetto Force found itself midst a vicious bout for glory, honor, and discos (praise his name). Due to Hurricane Sandy washing out the Cleveland North Coast tournament the week prior, Ghetto Force found itself with a lot of pent up aggression. This fact was not lost on the competition. The closest game Ghetto Force ever played in was a 5 point differential against an alumni team. Not bad numbers considering this was the first tournament for Ghetto Force A having split into A/B teams only a few weeks prior. So Ghetto Force brought home the bacon, unfortunately the trophy was not bacon. In fact, they didn't have anything swaggy for the victors. Bananas were offered yet, no amount of bananas could make up for the lack of a trophy for the victorious Ghetto Force. No more shall be said of the matter.

Aforementioned "Mansion"

As the Granville tournament was short on spots, B - Team was unable to make it in. However, they played 2 matches against Miami and Wright State. The goal was the systematic dismantling of the competition, however, they fell a bit short of this goal. Yet, the matches acted as a great learning experience for the B - Team. Now that they know the secrets of the competition, B - Team will use greater tactics and subterfuge to defeat unworthy adversaries. Rambo once said, "I've always believed that the mind is the greatest weapon".

Never bring a gun to a disc fight

Whew, tired of reading these fantastical words? Too bad, that was only half this blog post. Now, we travel south of the Mason Dixon line, into the fiery reaches of Mordor. Following the allure of great power and an actual trophy reward. A tournament where Ghetto Force won the key to the city of Murfreesboro, we respectfully declined. In Murfreesboro the Waffle House per human capita was far too high. So they cast it into the depths of Mount Doom, or rather, 54 Chambers Street. 

A prize worth of Ghetto Force 

**Special Effects not included**

The competition was better at Murfreesboro but unfortunately the housing situation was not. Jordan Manke brought his camera this time so we actually have a decent idea about what happened. Things we know for sure:

• The rookies played well for both teams, giving a lot of hope for next season
• John Bayer, Cap'n Mark, and Ted handled well; giving their teams some fine throws
• Matt Welter made people run away in terror
• Josh Weitz thought we were in Kentucky

You may have heard of Kentucky blue grass. Well, Tennessee has a little something called dead grass. The ground was an odd yellow shade, mostly associated with nasty dead grass. However, this grass was nice and soft which was a pleasant surprise. Along with wonderful weather, the team got their bronze on between matches. A - Team won all but 1 match on their way to a tournament victory. B - Team unfortunately remains winless although they played much better this time. They will be toning their bodies under El Jefe Bronardo in the mornings to come until victory is achieved. The beatings will continue until victory is achieved, and then thereafter. 

Thus ends this blogathon, Ghetto Force is looking forward to the important Spring season. A day may come when the Ghetto Force blog fails and all hope is lost. But it is not this day!

Thanks for reading, as we go through exams and winter break stay tuned as we should continue to provide some Ghetto Force themed mirth.

PS: Please comment on our posts, we would love your feedback. Let your mind and fingers run free along your keyboard in wonderful commenting joy!

Back and Better than Ever!

First off, please accept our sincere apology about the time between blogs. I wish I could tell you that it was caused by an unwarranted invasion of 54 Chambers Street by Soviet Demon Mice. Yet, in actuality, we’ve just been lazy.

With that in mind: There will be an explosion of Thanksgiving Blogness over the next week or so! The wonderful Ghetto Force correspondents of Peaches, Sam Newell, and yours truly will give you some sweet and savory literary morsels. Let our word gravy help get that tasty turkey down your gullets.

One event that needs immediate attention is the Family Weekend/Alumni Game.

Many friends and family of the Ghetto Force made their way to UD to see what their sons have been doing with their college education. Also, for a lot of folks, this was their first opportunity to see what this “Ultimate Frisbee Disc Flatball” game is. One of my favorite short videos about Ultimate:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EwBUKDvohSs&feature=youtu.be

The Alumni Game this year was played as 2 games (to 9 points instead of the normal 13/15) with the current Ghetto Force roster split into 2 teams to take on the combined might of the Ancient Alumni.  The alumni came bearing their (many) years of experience and skill which showed in both games. The Alumni won both matches (although the first was hotly contested) and took possession of the newly forged Trophy to Rule Them All from the fires of multiple couches on Kiefaber. Maintaining this (weak) allegory, Brendan Corboy became covetous of said trophy and inspired his fellow Alums to trounce the younglings. 

"Quit staring at my trophy, get your own"

Among many nature defying acts: Eddie Mack showed that he still had a lot left in the tank as he caught several deep huck passes. Brian Jones bid and caught a disc which no one could have ever expected.

Brian Jones pointing out the end zone lines to Alec Dorn

As always, it was great to see the Godfathers of Dayton Ultimate on the field and showing the boys how it’s done. Unfortunately, the Alumni won, thus, I will not make anymore jokes about their age. The game was a great time as always and we hope that the alumni will be back sometime soon. Please let us know if you are coming into town for Alumni Weekend in the summer so that maybe we could organize a scrimmage or some pick up. You guys have a lot of Ultimate knowledge that we would love to learn from.

Having the Ghetto Force alumni on campus is always a great time. Many Alumni told me how they were amazed by the size of the roster and how different it was from only a few years ago. It is awesome to see that same spark that drives current Ghetto Force players in the Alumni.

The hard work of teams of yesteryear has given the team a great identity that is shared by alumni and current players. As always, we are grateful for the work the Alumni put into making Ghetto Force what it is today and we hope to continue that legacy.

I would also like to take a minute to thank the families that helped out setting up everything for the Family Weekend. Especially Mr. and Mrs. Tardio who made a grand feast fit for Prussian kings and queens, I still dream of that pulled pork (while I cry into my Salisbury Steak frozen microwavable dinner).  Also, those who helped donate to the team; your contribution helps significantly. Without you, Ghetto Force would not exist. Also, thank you for your sons – we like them too. 

Thanks for coming to visit and we hope to see you all soon!

Don't forget, there is no crying in frisbee-ball.

Ghetto Days

With the overwhelming success that was the last blog entry, we are back again to sate your thirst for poor verbiage, crude jokes, and overall whimsicality.

Believe it or not, Ghetto Force has already played in their second tournament of the fall season, Glory Days, which occurred the weekend of October 6-7. As this weekend coincided with Fall Break, many G-Forcers were unable to make it to this tournament. A plethora of excuses were used for this absenteeism, the main one being that "I have to go see my family" which is understood as: "I miss my mommy". Although we have offered Ross as a surrogate mother, some of the rookies shy away from his matronly affections.

Ross practicing his consoling skills

In regards to the tournament, we were once again split into 2 teams of X and Y. The team rosters were more or less the same as the rosters used at Boiler Breakaway. The main difference being a swap of captains so Mark and Tardio could survey the other members of the Ghetto Stock with great pride(or disdain). 

Going through some of the highlights for the X team, there was a very interesting spread of play witnessed. The X team played 1 of 2 ways: 

The team played as a dominating force that made the other team cry due to a smothering zone defense 

or 

They assumed room temperature like Old Yeller. 

The first day was disappointing with 2 hard losses. However, the team had an incredible come from behind victory against Illinois State where they won 14-13 on Universe Point. The X team ended up going 4-3 for the tournament in a solid showing. A list of some of the feats of valor for the x team is as follows:

• Ryan Schubert being the righteous hand of defense and D'ing everything thrown near his mark
• Mike "Rapsheet" Mills reminding people that gingers steal souls and catch lots of hucks
• Captain Mark Markleton throwing high release flicks over people
• Brandon Rush and Connor Ellis hurdling over fools
• Along with Bob and Donovan doing some solid work as cutters
• Ted Lannert playing great Zone defense
• Jamie Horne threw a completed huck to Matt Kolb/Kobb/CornCob causing hell to immediately freeze over

Seduction: The greater part of defense

In regards to the Y team led by El jefe muy bueno, Adam Tardio, there were also many noteworthy players. Fighting through a tough pool on day 1, the Y team was unable to record a W. However, they did take a strong Michigan team to 13-10. With these tough losses in mind, the resilient boys rallied hard to fight the next day to record 2 wins on Sunday. Jetpack Joe showed up to play in a neon green construction coat which was so obnoxiously bright, the opposing team could not find him. The garrulous Dominic Leyden threw over the shoulder fakes which dazzled and caused mass hysteria/confusion. Speaking of confusion, supersonic wielding Zubat Grewal and flow wielding "Fabio" Huels handled admirably. Josh "Lippy" Maloney finally lived up to his ever present smack talking and played great defense. Super Tim was exceptionally super as always, macking a disc over his defender just to sky said defender in the endzone for a point. Dylan Corwin became the "Sticky Bandit", robbing many fools of their ill protected throws. Most amazing of all, Dan Sullivan managed to walk onto the field "voluntarily" after Tardio dangled a cold Dr Pepper in front of him. 

Dylan's nickname is totes not a form of infringement

Thanks to the Kolb, Lannert, and Schlater for showing up to cheer us on, we really appreciate the fans. Efforts will be taken to keep this from going to our heads however once we hit 10 fans we're getting an agent.

With parent's weekend coming up soon, there will be an influx of family, friends, and alumni making their way to the lovely Dayton, Ohio. Please make sure to keep your parents informed of the events this weekend and help Mark and Tardio get everything set up. Otherwise, Tardio will hunt you down, you will not be able to outrun him.

Until next time, please make sure to help control the pet population, give all strays you find to Zach Kaylor.

"1-2-3 We're Back"

Welcome,

Introducing, your new electronic troubadours for the 2012-2013 Ghetto Force season Sam Newell, Patrick "Peaches" Kaufmann and Jamie Horne. The times have been a-changing here at Ghetto Force Central with the addition of new leadership in Mark "Markleton" Fedorenko and Adam Tardio, who evidently does have a first name. Also, after the veritable week long marathon tryouts, a new batch of about 40 fresh minted rookies have made their way into the Ghetto Force hurt locker.

                                            Pictured: Veteran keeping in shape over the summer


Right off the bat, Ghetto Force went to it's first tournament with 2 fully equipped teams ready to nick name rookies with every bad nickname ever until one would stick.

This is the part where your loyal blog-stars would talk about the tournament itself. Yet, we would like to take this time to point out that there were almost no bloggers to write this epitaph as we had to drive through -what could be described only as a category 5 hurricane - to make it to West Lafayette, Indiana. Thus, Boiler Breakdown was played at Purdue University in Indiana. Upon arrival, after what was near certain death, several rookies began to question their decisions in joining the team.

As stated before, the teams were broken up evenly into Ghetto Force X and Ghetto Force Y; both with a mix of veterans and rookies. The first day of the tournament was a tumultuous one after a calm morning, conditions shifted for the worse with strong winds.

                                                                It looked a lot like this

Ghetto Force X played a strong first day led by veteran handlers Cap'n Mark and Jordan Manke. Defeating strong teams in Purdue, Indiana, Western Michigan (in an exciting Universe Game), and Kalamazoo, which I'm pretty sure is a place made up by Dr. Seuss. Horton must've been good at hearing hucks. X only loss was against Loyola-Chicago.

We had a few spectators and no shows for this tournament as well. Eric "old man" Hegedus was a no show, in his 4th maybe even his 5th year he would have attended but in his old age the stress was to great. Levi "always injured" Bruce attended the tournament but was not able to play do to a previously dislocated shoulder. However, Levi's ridiculous outfits and clowning antics kept spirits high and helped Dayton X achieve 4 wins on the first day of competition. Bryan "Goldie Locks" Bakker was also attendance but could not play due to "back complications". Bakker and his long flowing hair, exclusive style, and supreme statistics taking ability helped Dayton Y with their first tournament experience.

Ghetto Force Y played all day on a knife's edge, winning 3 out of 5 games and only winning on the last point of each game. The highlight of the day being Jetpack Joe Schlater's family bought the team cheeseburgers.

Below is a short gif showing how Donovan "Dolphin Dive" Phillips manhandled the other team's handlers. Following his example, both teams saw many rookies exhibiting feats of glory. Bidding through fools and skying people to the stone age. There is a lot of hope in the future of this team.

                                                              NOT TODAY, JUNIOR

Day 2 for Ghetto Force was pretty poor across the board, with both teams being plagued by poor play. Ghetto Force X was described by Captain Mark as "Like watching smurfs trying to play defense on an angry herd of giraffes". That might not be a direct quote.

Both teams went 0-4  for the day however, important team bonding occurred and new names were drawn up. Dan Striebich became the Squeaky Tank after Mason "The Dixon Line" Boggs collided with each other. Luke Kalponek became Squid for reasons yet to be determined. Jack Hanson became Skeeter because he basically is Skeeter from Disney's Doug, if you don't know what this is a reference to brush up on your childhood.

So in conclusion, we look forward to the next tournament, Glory Days, in Rockford, Illinois.

Prepare yourself boys, we got a long, fun season ahead of us.

(Ninja Edit: some of our initial grammar/punctuation was atrocious, stay in school kids)