Operation Shock and Thaw

In light of the team leaving the frozen tundra of southwestern Ohio I have taken the liberty to develop a plan of attack on this mystical place called "Florida".

Step 1: Travel

Florida is pretty far away from Ohio.

That's a lot of miles

The team will be traveling by Van and Plane to a place called Tampa Bay. Fortunately Tampa Bay has several similarities with Cleveland in that they both have very crappy NFL Football teams so we should feel at home.

Step 2: Master Local Fauna

Ain't he cute!

Nothing quite says preparation for a premier Ultimate tournament like wrestling Alligators. So we're going to cover Jack Hanson in taco bell ground beef and sending him for a little swim in the everglades. But don't worry, I've seen like 3 episodes of Swamp People so I feel qualified to wrestle with an Alligator. Also, considering Florida's stance on firearms, it shouldn't be too difficult to acquire an Alligator hunting rifle.

Step 3: Thaw

This post needed a Star Wars reference

After we have fashioned a year's supply worth of alligator skin boots and wallets, we must thaw from the rigors of Siberian Dayton winter. It is hard to throw a thumber when your thumb has been frozen to your index finger for 3 weeks. We are going to have to tan until our skin is at least no longer reflecting light.

Step 4: Shock

This part of the plan is fairly obvious.

We leave a week from Thursday.

Get stoked (and yoked).

J.