Boogie Nights: Winning, Duh!

Written By Jonsey, Edited (loosely) By the Bello

Boogie Nights, a tournament hosted by Miami University is a firm staple in Ghetto Force’s spring schedule each year. The tournament is unique because it offers a cash prize of $200 for 1st place, however the long standing trend has been that the Miami University Alumni always win the tournament and "donate" the money back to the Miami team. Ghetto like a pack of vatican assassins vowed to crush this tradition, stripping the Alumni of their longstanding hold of the title and claim the prize money.

Xavier- Y: 13-9

Ghetto Force’s first challenger of the day was Xavier-Y. Until recently, Xavier Ultimate was most well known for not having a team name (even though virtually every other ultimate team does), and simply being know as “Xavier Ultimate,” an accurate reflection of such a bland university to be sure. Recently Xavier adopted the name “Blob” (or something stupid like that). However, after the events of the weekend a more accurate name would perhaps be “Xavier; tournament ruiners”. Little did Ghetto know it would start Boogie Nights off by exacting a little pre-emptive revenge on Xavier for messing up the second day of the tournament.

Ghetto came out very flat against Xavier Y, and allowed a team that epitomized mediocrity to hang around for the majority of the game. However, even without playing their best, Ghetto’s quality and quantity of talent proved too much for Xavier to handle. Perhaps still experiencing the hangover of their basketball team being upset by Jonesy’s future alma mater Marquette the night before, Xavier had no answer for the phenomenal cutting tandem of Alan “Butters” Smith and Jeff “I love Friday more than Rebecca Black does” Geise. Ghetto took the sloppy game 13 – 9.

John Carrol: 13-7

Ghetto’s next opponent, John Carrol, proved significantly more formidable. However, Ghetto was able to increase their level of play by an even greater factor. John Carrol was a quite gilded opponent; two or three stud players carrying a crew of fairly average ones. Ghetto came out strong early and the game was never truly in question. The most memorable point of the game came when Carrol made the tremendously questionable decision of throwing zone against Ghetto’s pristine handler set, without any significant wind to aid their defense. After a muffed pull that rolled 10 yards behind the handlers, Ghetto went to work on a point that was a thing of ultimate beauty. An initial swing and a throw through the cup started Ghetto’s march down field with perfect flow, rarely allowing their opponents to so much as begin a stall count. Ghetto shredded the would-be zone, and took what was surely less than 30 seconds to grab a score and take half. From there Ghetto would cruise to an easy 13 – 7 win.

Ruckus: 13-9

The third game of the day was Ghetto’s chance to break seed and snatch a first round bye for day 2 of Boogie Nights. Their opponent; the alumni team Ruckus. Alumni teams can be tremendously frustrating even for top caliber college teams to compete against. Despite college teams having a huge edge in terms of athleticism and conditioning, alumni teams usually have throwing ability from top to bottom that is top notch. Ghetto knew it was in for a tough game against a highly veteran team. With Frasz’s and Butters parents watching from the sidelines, Ghetto not only had seed to play for, but some parents that they needed to impress ($$$). They would not disappoint. Despite the high degree of skill and experience that Ruckus boasted, Ghetto’s raw athletic ability proved to be the greater strength. Adam Tardio summoned his inner cookie monster all game long, gobbling up D after D in an impressive showing. Alex Frasz summoned his inner Terrell Owens on a point in the first half, streaking downfield and raising his hand in the air as if to say “Throw me the gosh darn disc!!”. The run and catch was so beautiful that Alex’s father was quoted in a post game interviews as saying (with tears in his eyes) “For the first time in my life, I feel that I can be mildly proud of my son”. The true exclamation point on the game, however, came from none other than El Capitan, Alan “Butters” Smith. With Ghetto holding the lead late in the game, Ruckus put together a run of impressive points and cut Ghetto’s previously comfortable lead down to just 3. After a turntover by Ghetto, Ruckus had the disc just short of the goal line. As can always be expected from alumni teams, a break-side hammer was thrown in an attempt to cut Ghetto’s lead to just two. The throw was well executed, and looked to be floating perfectly to Ruckus’ very tall and very skilled top cutter. However, out of nowhere, Butters decided he wasn’t going to allow any hammer shenanigans to take place on his field. Leaping into the air higher than any Caucasian should be able to, Butters raised his hand in the air and smacked the lame duck hammer down to the ground in a spike that (insert name of famous volleyball player here) would be proud of. Ghetto used this tremendous play to steal the momentum and cruise to another 13 – 9 victory, taking out the #1 seed in their pool.

Youngstown State: 13-2

Ghetto Force’s final game of the day was hardly their most competitive. Before the game commenced, captain Phil Brodrick had a hunch the team Ghetto would be playing was anything but a high-level opponent. This hunch stemmed from the fact that the opponent (Youngstown State) was comprised of just 8 players, the most athletic of which was halfway through a fifth of Southern Comfort, and the most annoying of which was sporting a chef’s hat. Despite playing what was probably their worst game of the weekend, Ghetto took an ugly 13 – 2 victory to end the day.

After conducting the contract mandated press conferences and interviews in the locker room, Ghetto returned to a part of Ohio that actually has AT&T 3G coverage. With a spotless record on Day 1, Ghetto was confident they could contend for the 2011 Boggie Nights championship.